30+ Monday Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing All Week

Let’s face it: You won’t find anyone eagerly announcing, “Monday! Monday! Monday!” on your favorite radio or TV station. Mondays often feel like a heavy burden; they mark the return to work or school after a weekend that’s far too short. As you step into the office—now just your kitchen counter—there’s an avalanche of emails waiting, countless meetings lined up, and someone inevitably asks, “Did you have time to think about that over the weekend?” Well, no! I was trying to unwind! Mondays come with a lot of pressure, which is why they have a reputation for being disliked. But we can definitely share a laugh about them. Here are some Monday jokes that mix sarcasm and silliness, perfect for getting through even the dullest tasks (like that meeting with Development that could have just been an email, right, Rachel?).

Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor? Much harder.
One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours. Just like one Monday on Earth.
Look on the bright side: at least Mondays only happen once a week.
When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? Sunday. Because Monday is a weekday and we all feel weak on Mondays.
Monday is a terrible way to spend one-seventh of your life.
What do you call Mondays without any Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
What’s the most depressing sound on Monday? Alarm clocks!
What do schoolchildren wish for on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday.
I like Tuesday simply because it’s the furthest from next Monday I can get.
What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mourning.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
God gave us Mondays to punish us for our weekend shenanigans.
What did the cyclops say when he woke up on Monday? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday—blink and it’s Monday again.
How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted.
Why did the cat stay home from school on Monday? He claimed he wasn’t feline well.
Why did Boba Fett sleep from Tuesday to Sunday? Because he was a Mondaylorian.
If every day is a gift, where can I return Mondays?
What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
Which day are demons most exhausted? De-Monday, just like the rest of us.
Mondays aren’t so bad; only 48 hours ago was a sadder day.
What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings.
What do you call someone who’s happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
On Monday, we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday.
What did the cashew say on Monday morning? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week? He had been Monday laundering!

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