I realized I had an issue when I began treating meditation as just another item to juggle. Encouraged by friends who rave about apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to give meditation a shot during the tumultuous year of 2020, hoping it would help me find the “center” I felt I had lost amidst the chaos of laundry, dishes, constant Zoom calls from my kids, my work commitments, and my cat’s incessant reminders that his food bowl was empty. But as a British-accented voice guided me to breathe and let my thoughts drift, I caught myself planning dinner, mulling over which Netflix series to watch next, and keeping one ear attuned to my kids to ensure no one was fighting or hurt. By the time the session wrapped up, I checked “Meditate” off my mental to-do list, yet felt no more centered than before.
It’s a well-worn stereotype that mothers are always worn out. However, I was genuinely always tired. Sometimes I was tired and happy, other times tired and stressed, occasionally tired and irritable – but tired was the constant theme. When you have an infant, it’s easy to attribute exhaustion to sleepless nights, but my children sleep well, are out of diapers, and can handle many daily tasks independently. The end-of-day fatigue I felt rivaled that of a new mom, yet didn’t add up.
Then it dawned on me: perhaps my constant tiredness stemmed from my perpetual multitasking. Often, my body was busy with one task while my mind was racing through another. Even when I was focused on something like checking emails, I was rapidly switching between work messages, my kids’ school notifications, texts from friends, and persistent political organizations. It’s no wonder I felt drained by 6pm.
Recently, I decided to make a change by rediscovering the art of “single-tasking.” This method involves dedicating yourself to one task at a time until it’s completed. You might remember this from before parenting. For instance, when tackling work emails, I now only open work-related messages and ignore everything else. More crucially, when spending time with my kids, I strive to be mentally present instead of thinking about what comes next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s not always possible to single-task, and many of my efforts are interrupted. However, each time I manage to focus solely on one task, I find that I complete it more efficiently and effectively. When that focus is directed towards quality time with my family, we all feel happier and more relaxed. Physically, I also notice that I experience less fatigue. While I’m not completely free from tiredness, single-tasking acts like a power nap for my mind.
Moms often take pride in our multitasking abilities, and rightly so, as the female brain is a formidable force. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and burnout. I came alarmingly close to crossing that line this past year, but I’m now on a better path, taking it one step – and one task – at a time.
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In summary, I found that by embracing single-tasking, I could alleviate some of the exhaustion that came with constant multitasking. This practice not only enhances productivity but also allows for more meaningful interactions with my family, ultimately leading to a happier and less tired me.
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