Let’s be honest: nobody ever tunes into the radio or television to hear someone excitedly shout, “Monday! Monday! Monday!” There’s simply nothing thrilling about Mondays—just a mountain of mundane tasks waiting for you. The week kicks off with a return to work or school, and you know what that means: an avalanche of emails, back-to-back meetings, and that dreaded question, “Did you have time to think about that over the weekend?” Nope! I was trying to unwind! Mondays come with a hefty dose of pressure, and it’s easy to see why they often get a bad rap. After all, there’s a whole genre of motivational quotes just to help us shake off those Sunday blues.
But who says we can’t have a laugh about it? A good joke can lighten even the heaviest Monday mood. Whether it’s a flat tire, a breakup, or just the Monday grind, we’ve got you covered with some sarcastic and silly humor to help you tackle even the most tedious tasks (like that meeting with Development that really should have been an email, right, Molly?).
- Rolling out of bed on Mondays is a breeze. Getting off the floor? That’s another story.
- One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours—just like one Monday here on Earth!
- Look on the bright side: Mondays only come once a week.
- When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
- What annoys NFL players the most at the start of the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
- If Monday had a face, I’d gladly give it a punch.
- Sunday and Monday are arguing. Who wins? Sunday—Monday’s just a weekday, after all.
- Spending one-seventh of your life on Monday? Not ideal.
- What do you call a Monday without Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
- What’s the saddest sound on a Monday? Alarm clocks!
- What do kids wish for most on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday.
- I like Tuesday because it’s the furthest from next Monday.
- What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mornings.
- Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
- A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
- God gave us Mondays to atone for our weekend sins.
- What did the cyclops say upon waking? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday—I blinked and suddenly it’s Monday again.
- How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted!
- Why did the cat skip school on Monday? He wasn’t feline well.
- Why did Boba Fett sleep from Tuesday to Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian.
- If every day is a gift, I want to know how to return Mondays.
- What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
- What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
- Which day are demons most worn out? De-Monday, just like the rest of us.
- Mondays aren’t so terrible—only 48 hours ago was a sadder day.
- What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings themselves.
- What do you call someone who’s happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
- On Monday, we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday.
- What did the cashew say on Monday? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
- Why did the shady calendar end up in jail at the start of the week? He was caught Monday laundering!
This collection of jokes is sure to bring a smile to your face, even on the most challenging of Mondays. If you’re looking for more content like this, you might enjoy our other blog post here and for a deeper dive into pregnancy or home insemination, check out this excellent resource on the topic. And for those interested in at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom is a great authority in the field.
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In summary, Mondays might be a tough pill to swallow, but with a little humor, they can become a lot more bearable. So the next time Monday rolls around, remember these jokes to lighten the mood!
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