We have two pet ducks that my kids adore and take great care of. However, the agreement when we adopted them a year ago was that I would provide their food, hay, and other essentials, while my teenagers would handle the upkeep. This included feeding, cleaning, collecting eggs, and ensuring they always had fresh water to dip their heads into—an absolute must for ducks.
Unfortunately, the cleanliness aspect hasn’t gone as planned. Who knew ducks could be so messy? They love to roam around our yard, which is manageable since they help control the mosquito and tick population. However, those ducks have taken to lounging on our front porch, leaving behind a trail of splattery, baseball-sized droppings every fifteen minutes. That’s where I draw the line; I refuse to have my porch covered in duck waste.
When I noticed my kids neglecting to clean up the mess yet still finding time to craft outfits for the ducks, I had to step in and insist they keep the ducks off the porch. To my dismay, I then discovered they were using my nice white dishes to feed their feathered friends. I had purchased designated duck feeders, but they insisted on using porcelain because they “like the sound” it makes. When I found my favorite bowl—cracked and filled with duck mess—in the coop, I completely lost my cool.
I mean, I really lost it—one of those rants that leaves you hoarse for hours. My kids seem to view me as a ticking time bomb, and there are days I fear all they hear is my yelling. I often reflect on how many times I’ve asked them, politely and even playfully, to treat my belongings with respect and clean up after the ducks. I’ve suggested rewards, like ice cream, if they just clean up the mess. Yet, they still “forget.”
This situation is just one of many. We often go back and forth about keeping their rooms tidy, submitting homework on time, taking out the trash, and folding laundry. As moms, we know our breaking point. After repeatedly asking our family to contribute and being ignored, there comes a moment when we just can’t hold it in any longer.
We yell. We let out all the frustrations we’ve been suppressing, expressing how invisible and unappreciated we feel. That day, after my outburst, my kids were upset and retreated to their rooms. I needed time to cool down before even facing them again. Admitting that as a mom is tough, but we’ve all been there.
Eventually, they came down one by one. My son scrubbed the porch and took out the garbage. They all pitched in to clean the dishes they had taken to the coop and tidied their rooms. After that, we went out for milkshakes in silence. It took some time and a little sugar, but we found our way back to each other.
Sometimes, raising my voice is the only way to get my kids to behave. I don’t see myself as a bad parent when I lose it because I know I’ve asked them multiple times to take responsibility. Sure, I hate that it has to escalate to that point, but that’s just how it goes in our house.
I do feel guilty about raising my voice, but I still do it when I feel ignored. I can feel remorseful but not regretful because it actually works, and sometimes that’s the only thing that does. For more insights into parenting, check out this related post here.
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