It seems like nearly every mother I know experiences occasional leaks, and most of them just chuckle and carry on. But honestly, I’m fed up with having to cross my legs every time I cough or sneeze, praying that I won’t have an embarrassing accident. My incontinence has reached a point where it’s no longer amusing, and I’m determined to take action.
Having given birth to three children, I’ve been dealing with this issue since my first pregnancy a decade ago. Now, it’s a daily struggle. Whenever I feel a sneeze coming on, I must halt everything, cross my legs tightly, and hope for the best. Picture that scenario in the middle of a busy mall or grocery store.
If a sudden cough or sneeze occurs while I’m seated, I’m in trouble. I can’t count how many times I’ve had a leak because of my weakened pelvic floor. Once, I sneezed, coughed, and accidentally soaked myself all while trying to save my phone from a similar fate. Oh, and did I mention I have allergies? Just think about how much fun springtime is for me with pollen in the air.
At just over 40 years old, the idea of wearing adult diapers for the rest of my life is not something I’m ready to accept. It’s a reality I never anticipated facing at my age, but here I am, and I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
I often joke with my mom friends about the various situations that have led to our leaks. This has become a kind of running joke among us, which has somehow normalized female incontinence. However, this is not something we or any woman should simply accept as part of life.
Understanding Urinary Incontinence
Urinary incontinence—loss of bladder control—is surprisingly common, particularly among women. According to WomensHealth.gov, it affects twice as many women as men. Many women go through life events like pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause that can impact the urinary tract and pelvic floor muscles.
There are several types of incontinence. I personally deal with stress incontinence, where any physical pressure on the abdomen or bladder can cause urine to escape. This can happen from coughing, laughing, sneezing, or even lifting something heavy—activities we all do regularly. Stress incontinence is more prevalent in younger women, which gives me a slight sense of reassurance about my situation.
Then there’s urge incontinence, characterized by sudden, intense urges to urinate before reaching a bathroom. Those affected often find themselves needing to go multiple times throughout the day, but they may not urinate much once they finally get to a restroom. This is often referred to as an overactive bladder and is equally frustrating.
Some women endure mixed incontinence, which includes both stress and urge incontinence. Overflow incontinence is another type, and sadly, less than half of the millions of women experiencing these symptoms seek help. But it’s essential to realize that incontinence is not an inevitable part of aging and can be treated.
Taking Action
I used to treat my incontinence as just an annoying aspect of life, but one evening after visiting the restroom several times, I stood up, sneezed, and ended up in a wet mess all over my legs. That was my breaking point, and I called my doctor the very next day.
Fortunately, I discovered that there are various treatment options available for female incontinence, many of which don’t involve surgery or wearing diapers. One well-known option is practicing kegels, which can strengthen the pelvic floor and alleviate incontinence issues. There are also pelvic floor physical therapists who can help get your pelvic muscles back in shape.
In addition, medical devices exist to assist with incontinence. A pessary, a flexible silicone or plastic ring inserted into the vagina, can support the urethra and prevent leaks. It requires a prescription, but there are also over-the-counter urethral inserts that act like a plug to prevent leakage—just remember to take it out before using the bathroom.
The Mayo Clinic also lists medication as a viable option for treating urge incontinence. Topical estrogen in various forms can help tone and rejuvenate tissues in the urethra and vaginal areas. Additionally, electrical stimulation can strengthen pelvic floor muscles, and injections of collagen and botox can assist with some types of incontinence.
Surgery is a last resort, but for women with stress incontinence, options like sling insertion or bladder neck suspension can provide relief. Some women might benefit from an artificial urinary sphincter, while those with pelvic organ prolapse or mixed incontinence may find prolapse surgery helpful.
I’m just beginning my journey toward addressing my incontinence, but I feel relieved to know that I don’t have to live with this issue. I hope sharing my experience helps others who might relate, letting them know they’re not alone and that there are many treatment options available.
If you’re interested in learning more, check out this blog post for additional insights. For authoritative advice on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. And for excellent pregnancy resources, see NHS.
Leave a Reply