Growing up, there was this silly joke among adults about shattering their kids’ plates on the table and sending them off into the world at 18. My parents and their friends would chuckle heartily at this joke during dinner parties. It didn’t matter that they repeated it throughout my childhood; they found it hilarious.
As I sat there, I thought how absurd it was to break a plate while glancing at my siblings, who seemed unbothered by the idea of being tossed out once they turned 18. Of course, it was all in jest, and my parents never actually kicked us out. In fact, I was the only one of my four siblings who voluntarily left home after high school, and I never returned.
When my first child was born, the thought of him eventually leaving home hit me hard. I would never let him feel like I was counting down the days until he was gone. As I looked at him in his clear bassinet next to my hospital bed, I couldn’t shake the fear of losing him. I had wanted him so desperately, and now that he was here, the thought of him moving out made me anxious.
Over the years, I’ve tried to convince myself that I have plenty of time with my kids. I’ve avoided thinking about an empty nest. Yet, with my eldest preparing to leave for college, I find myself struggling.
I may not love his messy room or the ice cream container left out on the counter, but the thought of him being gone is overwhelming. Sure, there are days when managing three teenagers feels like too much, but that doesn’t mean I’m eager for them to leave. I dread waking up on weekends without them around and I hope they’ll come home for the holidays.
Recently, I saw a post online of two empty nesters celebrating their newfound freedom. This kind of content hits me hard. It’s not that I fault them for celebrating their parenting success; rather, I’m filled with dread for this new phase of my life. I can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with me for feeling sad while other parents seem excited for their kids to fly the nest.
I don’t feel like celebrating at all. With my son’s graduation approaching in June, I keep telling myself to set aside my sorrow since this is about him, not me. He’s grown into a capable adult who will thrive on his own.
When my kids leave, I’ll miss them terribly. I wanted all three, and time has flown by too quickly. For nearly 18 years, everything I’ve done has revolved around my children. Who am I going to be when they are gone?
No one truly prepares you for motherhood, especially not for the teenage years. So how do we cope with the drastic shift from a lively household to one filled with silence? I’m not looking forward to an empty nest. The thought of less laundry or fewer dishes doesn’t bring me comfort.
This is for all the parents who feel the same way about the empty nest years. You aren’t alone in your sadness.
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Summary
The article reflects on the emotional challenges of impending empty nest syndrome as children grow up and leave home. The author shares personal experiences and feelings about the transition, highlighting that not all parents are eager for this stage of life. The piece serves as a reminder that it’s okay to feel sadness about the changes that come with children becoming independent.
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