My little girl took her sweet time with potty training, and I must admit, I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. As she approached her fourth birthday still in full-time training pants, I worried about what others might think. We hadn’t even begun the process; she adamantly refused to go anywhere near a bathroom. The struggle was real, whether it was the regular toilet or the adorable penguin-shaped potty I had splurged on. It became a battle of wills, and let me tell you, she was not backing down.
I tried every type of underwear imaginable—those adorned with her beloved cartoon characters, cute pink ones with rainbows, and even sensory-friendly microfiber pairs. Each time, I was met with empty promises of “going potty” when we got home. It was utterly frustrating.
Eventually, I reached my breaking point. After reading countless parenting books, scouring the internet for tips, and seeking advice from mom groups, we seemed stuck. Then one day, my husband took a different approach. He sat her down on the potty, handed her an iPad with big headphones, and encouraged her to try. I couldn’t help but chuckle—after two years of effort, I had seen it all. She cried, screamed, and attempted to stand up, but he expertly coaxed her to sit back down. Suddenly, I heard the sound of drops hitting the toilet. She was going! Through her tears, she expressed her surprise with, “That wasn’t scary at all.”
It turned out that her fear of the unknown was what had held her back.
This moment wasn’t magical; it took several more days for her to get comfortable. She would go for my husband and her grandmother, but not for me. When I asked her why, her response was heartbreaking: “They’re nice to me.” I realized my frustration had translated to her as me being mean. This revelation changed my approach completely. The next time she needed to go, I was gentle and supportive, and it worked! I was overjoyed and hugged her tightly, knowing we had turned a corner.
It took a bit longer, but she eventually mastered it and has never needed training pants at night. I learned valuable lessons along the way that I wish I had known earlier. Here are five tips to ease the process and maybe save you some tears—and many trips to the laundry room:
1. Avoid Forcing the Issue
It’s easy to feel frustrated, but remember, your child will only go when they’re truly ready. Forcing them to use the potty before they are comfortable will only lead to resistance. Everyone’s timeline is different, and that’s perfectly fine.
2. Practice Patience
While it can be challenging, being patient is key for a smoother experience. Dedicate time—perhaps an entire weekend—to encouraging your child in a relaxed environment. Engage in fun activities like reading or singing while you wait.
3. Steer Clear of Anger or Threats
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to breathe. Anger or threats will only create negativity around the potty. Instead, focus on creating a positive association by offering rewards or fun incentives.
4. The Naked Method Isn’t Always Foolproof
Many swear by letting kids go without clothes to help them recognize when they need to go. However, some kids may still not react. If this method doesn’t work, try underpants instead; sometimes, a little incentive can motivate them.
5. Emphasize Praise and Rewards
Children thrive on positive reinforcement. Celebrate their successes with lots of praise and perhaps small rewards like stickers or treats. Your enthusiasm will make them feel proud and encourage them to keep trying.
Potty training can be a daunting phase for both parents and children. Remember, you’re asking them to do something that feels completely foreign. Approach it with calmness and joy, and it can become a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
If you find yourself navigating the world of late potty training, take heart. You’re not alone in this journey, and there’s plenty of time to figure it out.
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Summary
Potty training can be a challenging experience, especially for parents of late potty trainers. It’s important to remember that each child is unique and will progress at their own pace. Patience, understanding, and positive reinforcement are key components to helping your child through this transition. Avoid forcing the issue or expressing frustration, as these can create negative associations. With love and support, you’ll get through this stage together.
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