I was quite the temperamental teenager, and I own it. But honestly, can you blame me? Puberty hormones were raging, turning me into a moody mess. Before I hit those awkward years, I remember waking up each day full of joy. I was thrilled about school, excited to wear my favorite purple shirt, and couldn’t wait to sip hot chocolate at home. The sound of rain was music to my ears, and my energy was contagious—I was practically bouncing off the walls.
Teachers often complained to my parents that I was “too social,” and my mom even devised a game called “Let’s See How Long You Can Go Without Talking.” Spoiler alert: I never lasted more than three minutes, even with a cash prize on the line.
Then, around the age of twelve, something shifted. I remember sitting in band class when, out of nowhere, tears began streaming down my face. The cheerful girl who was eagerly awaiting the dance that evening had vanished, replaced by someone who craved solitude and silence. Thankfully, those feelings eased, and my bubbly self returned during my late teen years. I genuinely thought that phase had passed—a typical teenage struggle, right? Wrong.
When I turned 40, I realized that the girl crying in band class was a sweet memory compared to the feral woman I’ve become. Now, I can be overwhelmed with rage in seconds, and those mood swings have only intensified over the past six years.
One minute, I’m calm; the next, I feel like I could snap a tree trunk in half with my bare hands. My friend recently shared that she and her husband have established a “safe word” for when she feels those inner demons rising. Yes, a safe word! If you haven’t entered the perimenopausal phase yet, you might think this is silly, but trust me, you won’t understand until you get here.
These mood swings are all too real, and no amount of self-control seems to help. I’ve tried everything, and while some remedies like sleep, exercise, a lower sugar intake, and magnesium offer relief, there’s no universal solution.
Middle-age mood swings can feel like someone else is in control of your mind, flipping a switch at random. You can start your day feeling good, only to be hit with sudden anxiety half an hour later, and you don’t even know why. Your body starts playing tricks on you too—one moment you’re freezing, the next you’re so hot that standing outside naked sounds like a good idea.
Some days, I feel ravenous, dreaming of indulging in turkey legs and cheesecake, only to be followed by nausea and cramps. One friend mentioned her libido has vanished, while another said hers is so high that her husband struggles to keep up. And let’s not forget the joys of middle age: acne, wrinkles, and hair sprouting in places you never wanted—like getting kicked while you’re already down.
I often feel fine until I catch a glimpse in the mirror, faced with an acne-ridden jawline and random whiskers. It’s as if my body decided, “Now is the time to mess with you by robbing your sleep and giving you zits and hormonal chaos.”
You truly don’t grasp the meaning of irritability until you’ve hit your 40s. Sure, there are perks to this stage, like not caring as much about what others think and knowing which jeans fit best. But that doesn’t prevent the urge to grab a bag of chips from your partner and hurl it at their head when they crunch too loudly. A simple clog in the sink can drive you to tears, and sleep becomes elusive, whether your mind is racing or not.
Essentially, middle age feels like a never-ending wave of PMS. Even when you’re feeling like yourself, there’s that nagging anticipation of when the irritable version of you will make her next appearance.
I wish I could send a magic pill to everyone experiencing this, but until then, maybe we should all adopt a safe word—because apparently, it works wonders for my friend. For more on this topic, check out this post on home insemination.
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In summary, reaching your 40s brings a unique set of challenges, particularly when it comes to mood swings and irritability. While there are some benefits to this stage of life, the emotional rollercoaster can be relentless. Adopting strategies like establishing a safe word with loved ones may provide some relief as we navigate this tumultuous time.
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