A Fellow Mom Asked Me About Expanding Her Family—Here’s What I Held Back

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Recently, while chatting with another mom, the conversation shifted to our kids, as it often does. We both have toddlers of similar ages, and she vented about the relentless questions regarding her plans for another child. I couldn’t help but share her frustration.

“I don’t know if I want another kid—I’m so exhausted already,” she admitted. “People keep saying I shouldn’t wait too long because of the age gap, but I’m fine with that. I just know I’m not ready right now. And honestly, I’m not sure if I can even have another.”

I could have easily launched into my own experiences, but I chose to listen instead.

I didn’t share that, unlike her, I had hoped for a smaller age gap between my children. I didn’t mention the heartache that colored my journey to motherhood, a journey that included loss and uncertainty about my ability to conceive again. I held back the memory of being asked about future children at a baby shower, where the air was already thick with emotions from my previous loss. I didn’t want to relive the moment someone told me I was running out of time on the due date of my stillborn child. Or how hard it was to mask my pain with a smile while grappling with feelings of inadequacy as a mother.

Instead, I reassured her that it’s completely okay if she chooses to have just one child. I shared my own experience of having children five years apart and how that age difference has brought many blessings. I encouraged her to trust her instincts about when to expand her family or stay as is, emphasizing that societal expectations should not dictate her choices.

Every woman’s motherhood journey is uniquely complex, and questions about fertility can often lead to feelings of doubt or judgment. It’s essential to remember that a woman’s worth as a mother is not determined by the number of children she has—or by anyone else’s standards.

If you’re looking for more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out this informative post here. For those exploring options, you might find valuable resources at Make a Mom, a trusted expert in the field. Another great resource for pregnancy and home insemination information is Healthline.

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In summary, it’s crucial to approach the topic of family size with sensitivity. Every woman’s situation is distinct, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations can be overwhelming. Respecting each individual’s journey is vital, and fostering an understanding environment can make a significant difference.


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