It all began with a bubble gun. My son, ecstatic about it being allowance day, had been urging his dad to take him to the store. They returned with a few items, one of which was a purple bubble gun. Typically, we have a rule against toy guns, except for foam-bullet guns that can be used in the basement. I wasn’t thrilled, but considering it was an inexpensive toy, I figured its novelty would wear off quickly.
One day, while my son was joyfully shooting bubbles for his little sister, the mail carrier pulled up to deliver a package. As I thanked him and he drove away, my son playfully aimed his bubble gun at the truck. My heart raced, and I instinctively knelt down to his level, firmly instructing him never to aim any kind of gun at people or vehicles. I reminded him that this could be dangerous and potentially life-threatening, especially for a Black boy in America. Too often, officers and the public struggle to distinguish between real and fake weapons, and I referenced the tragic case of Tamir Rice to emphasize my point.
He listened intently, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty. As a white woman, I’ve been conditioned to perceive law enforcement as protectors. My white privilege affords me trust and respect from police and society at large. Yet, my four children, all of whom are Black, face a very different reality. How could I have overlooked this truth when just weeks later, I found myself calling the police?
During an afternoon outside with my younger kids, we heard two distinct sounds resembling gunshots. Having grown up in the country, I recognized the noise, but it was jarring in our suburban neighborhood. My husband, working from home, rushed outside to check on us. After a brief discussion, we decided to contact the police.
A young officer arrived shortly after my 911 call, and within minutes, he was gone, checking the area for any suspicious activity. Just as he was leaving, my son asked, “Mom, is the officer here to kill me?”
At just eight years old, my child is acutely aware of the stories surrounding police violence against Black individuals. Despite our efforts to shield him from the news, it permeates social media and conversations. We’ve had “the talk” that many Black parents have with their children about navigating encounters with law enforcement.
I knelt beside him, holding his hand, and assured him that the officer was called because of the sounds we heard. Yet, he repeated his question, skepticism in his eyes. I tried to reassure him, but I wondered—are things really okay?
For me, they usually are. As a white person, I see the police as community helpers, while my children must learn to navigate a system that may not protect them. I teach them how to interact with officers, where to keep their hands, and how to present themselves in public. They know not to run or shout, to avoid wearing hoods, and to always keep their hands visible, especially in stores.
I supervise their outdoor play closely, unlike many parents of white children who allow for more freedom. Free-range parenting can pose risks for Black kids, who may be unfairly targeted by vigilantism. I ensure I know other parents well before allowing my children to visit friends.
Despite taking precautions, societal biases make their skin a target. Many people are conditioned to react with fear when they see a Black person, often without realizing it. It’s a reality that even in our own driveway, my children are not safe from prejudice.
I’ve made mistakes and spent sleepless nights questioning my decisions. I rely heavily on the guidance of Black adults to raise my children, striving to become more anti-racist while instilling confidence in them as they grow into adulthood.
I refuse to sugarcoat the truth for my children. White niceties don’t protect Black lives. I tell them that while some officers genuinely care and work to serve their communities, others do not. The system itself often criminalizes Black individuals, so we must remain cautious.
For many white children, police are figures of trust and safety. For my kids, they represent a potential source of systemic racism. As their mother, it’s my responsibility to equip them with the skills they need to survive.
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating motherhood and the complexities of diverse experiences, check out other posts on Home Insemination Kit. For expert insights on fertility journeys, visit Make a Mom. Additionally, Parents.com offers fantastic resources for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, this piece reflects on the contrasting realities that Black children face compared to their white peers, particularly in interactions with law enforcement. It emphasizes the importance of education, vigilance, and understanding in raising children within a society marked by systemic racism.
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