Recently, a group of women I’ve considered close friends decided to go out for dinner and drinks without me. Upon waking one morning, I stumbled across a flurry of social media posts showcasing a “Girls’ Night!” They were gathered around a large, inviting table, drinks in hand, and smiles all around.
As I scrolled through the photos, I counted who was there and who wasn’t. It soon became evident that I was the only one left out of the invite. My initial feeling? A wave of sadness washed over me, reminiscent of being excluded from the popular crowd back in high school.
A part of me wanted to retaliate with a snarky comment like, “Thanks for the invite!” I thought that would surely make them realize their mistake. But then I remembered: I’m not in high school anymore—I’m 33.
I shared my feelings with my husband, who threw out some comforting thoughts. “You’re probably not the only one who wasn’t invited,” he said. “They likely didn’t mean anything by it.” And while he made some valid points, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being unwanted.
As I pondered the situation, anger replaced my initial sadness. I thought, “Forget them! Next time I’ll decide who gets an invite to my fun outings.” My husband suggested I directly ask one of them for clarification, assuring me that I’d get a reasonable answer that would ease my mind. But instead, I chose to sit with my feelings for a while.
Over the next couple of weeks, I contemplated whether I had inadvertently offended any of them. I observed their interactions with me and reflected on my own life circumstances. After some time and distance, I realized that my desire to be included shouldn’t stem from a place of obligation or pity.
Sure, I want to be invited to outings with my friends, but not out of guilt. And while it’s natural to want to fit in, it’s also okay to accept that I won’t always be everyone’s favorite person. I can be sarcastic, inappropriate, and overshare about my pregnancy, and it’s perfectly fine if some days they’re just not in the mood for it.
Ultimately, this experience helped me recognize that friendships ebb and flow, and being left out doesn’t define my worth. After all, my husband is always up for a chat — and that’s something I truly appreciate.
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Summary
Feeling left out by my friends taught me about the fluid nature of relationships and the importance of self-acceptance. While it stung to be excluded, I learned that true friendship isn’t about obligation, and it’s perfectly okay to not be everyone’s preference all the time.
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