Whether you’re a soccer enthusiast or not, Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso is a must-watch. This delightful comedy stars Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, an endearing small-time football coach unexpectedly hired to lead a British soccer team by its new owner, Rebecca Walton. The twist? He has no prior experience with soccer whatsoever. This results in not only a plethora of comedic moments but also a surprising amount of heartfelt scenes, filled with witty, wise, and earnest Ted Lasso quotes.
If you haven’t yet experienced this gem, now is the time. The show was a standout during award season, with Sudeikis winning a Golden Globe, a Critic’s Choice Award, and a Screen Actor’s Guild Award. Quite impressive for a concept that originated from a few NBC Sports promos back in 2013. Ted’s trademark optimism and charm made it a favorite binge-watch during quarantine, offering a ray of positivity. If you’ve already watched the show, you’re likely revisiting it to relish the clever lines and touching moments before season 2. Here are some of our favorite quotes to inspire you—remember, always be a goldfish.
Favorite Ted Lasso Quotes
- “Taking on a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you’re feeling comfortable, you might just be doing it wrong.”
- “Hey, if we bump into each other in our dreams, let’s have a little fun and pretend we’re strangers.”
- “Gentlemen, I could watch your North Korean military routine all day, but I need a favor.”
- “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mother’s swimsuits: I want to see them in one piece.”
- Walton: “How do you take your tea?” Ted: “Usually, I return it to the counter because there’s been a mix-up.”
- Walton: “Do you believe in ghosts?” Ted: “I do, but more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.”
- “I always thought tea would taste like hot brown water. Turns out, I was right. It’s horrible. No, thanks.”
- “Even Woody and Buzz had their disagreements.”
- “Beating yourself up is like listening to Woody Allen on the clarinet. I’m not interested.”
- “Don’t waste the wisdom that comes with age.”
- “I understand that change can be intimidating. One minute you’re playing freeze tag at recess, and the next, you’re dealing with zits and a deep voice.”
- “That’s what it’s all about: embracing change.”
- “If one more person says something I don’t get, I’m going to throw one of my son’s classic tantrums, which is basically just him calling me silly names.”
- “Tea and I are currently on a lifelong break.”
- “There’s something worse than being sad: being alone and sad. No one here is alone.”
- “Remember, your body is like day-old rice. If it’s not warmed up right, something bad can happen.”
- “If God intended for games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.”
- “So you’re going to give me the cold shoulder and silent treatment? That’s quite the combo!”
- “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.”
- “It smells like potential.”
- “A smurf with an attitude would definitely be entertaining.”
- “Sounds to me like someone’s stuck in life’s most complicated shape: a love triangle.”
- “You tore your butt? Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
- “Knock-a-doodle-doo!”
- “Early drinking leads to quick drunkenness.”
- “If you care for someone and have a bit of love in your heart, you can get through anything together.”
- “Roy, I learned two big lessons from the playground: always say no to candy from strangers and that telling a bully to stop just makes it worse.”
- “I think I know more about who killed Kennedy than what ‘offside’ means. (Long pause) It was the mob.”
- “If you told me I’d be drinking tea daily… a year ago, I would’ve punched you in the mouth.”
- “To be a Premier League team, you need three things: be physical, give 100 percent until the whistle, and have a Middle-Eastern airline as a sponsor.”
- “How many countries are in this country?”
- “Be curious, not judgmental.”
- “The happiest animal on Earth? A goldfish, because it has a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
- Jamie Tartt: “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?” Ted: “That’s actually quite psychologically healthy.”
- “Taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable, you might not be doing it right.”
- “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I wouldn’t want to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn’t be able to look away either.”
- Coach Beard: “Why are you winding him up?” Ted: “Because he’s the key. If we’re going to make an impact, it starts with him.”
- “For me, success isn’t about wins or losses; it’s about helping these young men become the best versions of themselves.”
- “I love the idea of someone getting rich from their contributions to the world rather than just their family name.”
- “Little girls are mysterious, silly, and powerful. I stopped trying to figure them out long ago.”
- “I want you to know, I value your opinions, even when you’re wrong.”
- “Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson — on a high!”
- “In locker rooms, I like them just like my mother’s swimsuits: in one piece.”
- “I’m curious about the definition of relegation.”
- “Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even play?”
- “Come on, Rob! You need to get it in there to score three points!”
- “Can you explain how that was offside? Seriously! Explain it to me. It makes no sense.”
- “That’s a scone — tastes like a muffin but sucks all the moisture from your mouth.”
- “I struggle to hear people who don’t believe in themselves.”
- “Funny thing about coincidences: sometimes they just happen.”
- “Coach, I feel like we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
- “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I’m excited to unpack that with you later.”
- “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about soccer.”
- “I never know how to respond when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”
- “As someone once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”
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In summary, Ted Lasso offers an abundance of heartfelt wisdom wrapped in humor. Ted’s optimistic approach to life and the challenges it presents serves as a reminder to embrace change and maintain hope. Whether you’re looking for inspiration or just a good laugh, the quotes from this series resonate deeply.
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