From The Confessional: Breastfeeding Can Be Really Tough, and Your Judgment Isn’t Helpful

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Throughout my first pregnancy, I had a clear vision of what motherhood would look like. I imagined being that fun mom who effortlessly carried my baby in a carrier while still enjoying coffee shops and festivals with my partner, hitting the gym regularly, and experiencing zero issues with breastfeeding. I thought I had it all figured out.

Oh, how wrong I was. None of those dreams materialized. We stopped going out because it became way too stressful for me. I didn’t return to the gym for years, and breastfeeding turned out to be an incredibly challenging experience. It was painful, my baby struggled to latch, and I found myself in tears every day for the first six weeks.

Looking back, I’m grateful I persevered. Eventually, my baby and I figured it out, and I was able to breastfeed my other two children with relative ease. However, that tough experience instilled in me a deep empathy for all mothers—whether they breastfeed or not. I firmly believe in the mantra that “fed is best.” No mother should feel obligated to breastfeed, nor should she owe anyone an explanation for how she chooses to feed her child.

While breastfeeding eventually became a positive journey for me—my favorite part being that it was free—this is not the reality for many women. Breastfeeding can be painful, exhausting, and can take a toll on our mental health, not to mention the lasting changes it can bring to our bodies.

Breastfeeding is no joke, and all mothers—regardless of how they nourish their children—deserve support, not judgment.

Many moms face intense struggles while breastfeeding. Some experience pain from conditions like milk blebs or mastitis, while others feel overwhelmed by the sheer demand of nursing. The frustrations can be compounded by unsolicited advice, such as, “If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.” Trust me, it can hurt even when you’re doing everything “right.”

Breastfeeding transforms our bodies, often leaving lasting changes. It’s not uncommon for breasts to lose their firmness, leading some women to feel less confident. The physical toll can also affect intimacy, with some mothers finding themselves embarrassed about changes in their sexual health.

As mothers, we often battle guilt when considering stopping breastfeeding, especially when comparing our experiences to those of other moms. The societal pressure can feel suffocating. It’s crucial to recognize that every mother’s journey is unique, and we should be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down.

Breastfeeding struggles can significantly impact a mother’s mental health, especially if she’s dealing with low supply, recovery from a C-section, or other challenges. It’s essential for moms to prioritize their health, even if that means stepping away from breastfeeding. They need support at every stage of their journey, whether they’re just starting out, struggling, or deciding to quit.

In my experience, breastfeeding was one of the most challenging aspects of becoming a mom. Thankfully, I had a supportive partner who understood my struggles, and I never felt ashamed when I had to supplement with formula.

My advice to all mothers is simple: prioritize your well-being. Whether you choose breastfeeding or not, as long as your baby is fed and loved, you’re doing an amazing job.

After nearly 13 years of motherhood, I stand by these two beliefs: 1) Fed is best. 2) A mother’s health is crucial.

For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re looking for resources to boost fertility, you can find great information at Make A Mom. Additionally, for comprehensive support regarding pregnancy and home insemination, Drugs.com provides excellent resources.

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In summary, breastfeeding can be an incredibly difficult journey filled with pressures and challenges. Mothers need to be supported through every stage, whether they choose to breastfeed or not. Ultimately, a mother’s health and her baby’s well-being should be the top priority.


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