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I realized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a way to multitask. Encouraged by friends who praised apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to give meditation a try during the chaos of 2020, hoping to find the “center” I lost amidst mountains of laundry, endless dishes, constant Zoom calls from my kids, my own work commitments, and the persistent meowing of our cat reminding me that his food bowl was empty once again. However, as a soothing British voice guided me to breathe and let my mind drift, I found my thoughts racing through dinner plans, potential Netflix shows to binge, and keeping an ear out for my kids to ensure they weren’t fighting or getting hurt. When the session ended, I checked “Meditate” off my mental to-do list, but I felt no more centered than when I began.
It’s a well-known stereotype that moms are perpetually tired. In my case, that stereotype was spot on. I often felt tired and happy, sometimes tired and stressed, occasionally tired and frustrated—but tired was the constant theme. When you have a baby, you can attribute fatigue to sleepless nights, but my kids sleep soundly, are out of diapers, and can manage several daily tasks independently. The exhaustion I felt at the end of each day didn’t quite add up.
Then it struck me: perhaps my constant fatigue was due to my tendency to multitask. Most of the time, my body was engaged in one activity while my mind was racing through another. Even when I was focused on something like checking emails, I was jumping between work messages, updates from my kids’ school, texts from friends, and persistent notifications from political organizations. It’s no wonder I felt drained by 6 PM.
Recently, I decided to make a change and rediscovered the concept of “single-tasking.” This approach involves selecting one activity and dedicating your full attention to it until it’s complete—something I remembered from the days before parenthood. For example, when I sat down to respond to work emails, I focused solely on work messages and ignored all other distractions. More importantly, when I spent time with my kids, I aimed to be fully present instead of thinking ahead to what needed to be done later.
Of course, as a parent, it’s unrealistic to single-task all the time or even most of the time. Many of my attempts are interrupted. But each time I manage to do it successfully, I notice that tasks are completed more quickly and effectively because I’m fully engaged. When this “task” involves quality time with my family, we all benefit from a more joyful and relaxed experience. On a physical level, I’ve also found that I’m less fatigued; while the tiredness hasn’t vanished completely, for my mind, single-tasking feels akin to a refreshing power nap.
Sometimes, we mothers wear our multitasking abilities like a badge of honor—and rightly so, as the female brain is incredibly capable. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing ourselves to the brink of burnout. I came alarmingly close to that line this past year, but I am making progress, one step—and one task—at a time.
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- How to single-task effectively
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Summary
In this article, the author reflects on the exhaustion that comes with multitasking as a parent, leading to the discovery of “single-tasking”—the practice of concentrating on one task at a time. This shift has resulted not only in increased productivity but also in a more fulfilling family life and reduced fatigue.
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