30+ Monday Jokes to Keep You Laughing All Week Long

Let’s be honest: no one ever turns on the radio or TV and hears, “It’s Monday! Let’s celebrate!” Mondays are typically about returning to the grind, whether it’s work or school. After a weekend of relaxation, Monday rolls around with a mountain of emails, back-to-back meetings, and the pressure of productivity. It’s no wonder people groan at the thought of Mondays!

But humor can be a great antidote to the Monday blues. Here are some light-hearted jokes to help you get through the day, one chuckle at a time.

Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor? That’s a different story.
Did you know a single day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours? Just like one Monday on Earth.
Look on the bright side: at least Mondays only occur once a week!
When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it!
Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? Sunday—because Monday is a weekday, and we all feel weak!
Monday is just a terrible way to spend one-seventh of your life.
What do you call Mondays without Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
What’s the most depressing sound on a Monday? Alarm clocks!
What do schoolchildren dream of on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday!
I like Tuesday simply because it’s the furthest from next Monday.
What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mournings.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
God gave us Mondays to punish us for our weekend fun!
What did the cyclops say when he woke up on Monday? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday—blink, and it’s Monday again.
How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted!
Why did the cat stay home from school on Monday? He wasn’t feline well.
Why did Boba Fett sleep through the week? He was a Mondaylorian.
If every day is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays.
What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
Which day of the week are demons most exhausted? De-Monday, just like the rest of us!
Mondays aren’t all that bad; only 48 hours ago it was a sadder day.
What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings themselves.
What do you call someone who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed!
On Monday, we kick off Diarrhea Awareness Week—it runs until Friday.
What did the cashew say on Monday morning? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
Why did the corrupt calendar end up in prison at the week’s start? He was caught Monday laundering!

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