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I had spent a decade as a non-drinker and recovering alcoholic when my husband, Jake, made the decision to have his last bourbon. He did it quietly, and it took me two weeks to even notice. During a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, he surprised me by ordering only water. I was taken aback. “It’s time,” he said.
That decision has profoundly strengthened our relationship. Without alcohol in the picture, we truly shine together.
Our Early Relationship
In the early days of our relationship, drinking was at the forefront of everything. We would meet for drinks after work, enjoy beers on his patio until dawn, and share bottles of wine during dinners out. I often wonder if we had anything in common that didn’t revolve around alcohol. We came from different backgrounds, with different upbringings, and even our tastes in music and entertainment varied. Yet, our shared fondness for beer kept us moving forward.
The Turning Point
Once we tied the knot, our drinking habits intensified. What began as a casual glass of wine after work turned into a nightly routine. I started to realize my drinking was becoming problematic when I found myself going into work with a hangover far too often. I was drinking heavily multiple times a week, and it was taking a toll on my health.
When I became pregnant, I stopped drinking for nine months. However, after my son was born, I quickly returned to my old habits. After my second pregnancy a year later, I decided enough was enough; I haven’t touched alcohol since. I went on to have four children, and for three of their lives, I’ve remained alcohol-free, which feels incredibly fulfilling.
Jake’s Journey
Jake, on the other hand, continued to drink, but his relationship with alcohol was different. His was more habitual—he would grab a beer after work, open a bottle of wine during movie nights, and enjoy drinks alone. At first, it didn’t bother me, but it eventually became a source of conflict. When he drank, our arguments escalated, and I began to resent his love for alcohol.
We started living separate lives, like roommates rather than a married couple. Saturday nights often ended in fights, with me feeling frustrated as the designated driver while he indulged in expensive wines. What had once felt acceptable now seemed wasteful and made me angry. Our disagreements spiraled into a cycle of insults, leaving us both feeling isolated.
A Quiet Decision
There wasn’t a dramatic moment that prompted Jake to stop drinking; he simply made the decision quietly. He recognized that his family deserved the best version of him.
A New Chapter
Now, as we approach two years as a sober couple, our lives have transformed for the better. We still argue, as all couples do, but our conflicts are less about tearing each other down. Instead, they focus on addressing genuine challenges. I no longer nag because of alcohol, and he doesn’t raise his voice due to drunkenness. We face our real issues head-on.
Our family life has improved without the fog of hangovers. We now have the patience to engage with our children and spend quality time together as a family, free from the shadow of alcohol.
Our Perspective
I want to clarify—we don’t have an issue with others drinking; we have a drinking problem ourselves. We happily serve drinks at our gatherings, but we choose not to partake. While many can enjoy a glass of wine without issue, we are not those individuals. I do worry about our children, as alcoholism has a hereditary aspect; I hope they choose wisely when the time comes to drink.
I feel incredibly grateful that we didn’t let alcohol destroy our relationship. Instead, we chose to prioritize our marriage. I love my husband deeply, and I can honestly say I love him even more now that alcohol isn’t part of our lives. We often say “Cheers to saving our marriage,” but I raise my glass of sparkling water, while he sips an Irish coffee without the Bailey’s. And that’s more than enough for us.
Related Topics
If you’re interested in related topics, check out this insightful post on home insemination, or explore the offerings at Make a Mom for quality artificial insemination kits. For an in-depth look at the process, Wikipedia is an excellent resource.
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Conclusion
In summary, my husband and I have transformed our lives by quitting alcohol, ultimately strengthening our marriage. We prioritize our relationship and family, enjoying a healthier, happier life together.
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