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I identify as pro-choice and am also the mother of a 12-year-old boy with Down syndrome. At first glance, these two aspects of my life might not appear to conflict, but the reality is complex. Statistically, about 67% of pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome are terminated, which reflects a societal trend that devalues children like my son. This has led me to grapple with my pro-choice stance.
I firmly believe in bodily autonomy as a fundamental human right. Women should not be compelled to continue a pregnancy, just as individuals with intellectual disabilities, like my son, deserve the right to choose their own living arrangements and avoid institutionalization. On this level, advocating for disability rights aligns closely with supporting abortion rights. However, the pro-choice movement often fails to emphasize bodily autonomy as the core reason for the legality of abortion. Instead, discussions frequently center around specific cases—such as rape or health risks—where abortion is deemed necessary. This is where my internal conflict arises.
When my partner was eight weeks pregnant with our son, a heart condition was diagnosed, one commonly associated with Down syndrome. We were devastated, not only by the diagnosis but also by the implied expectation that we might consider termination. Despite the pressure from our doctor and even my own therapist, we stood firm in our decision to continue the pregnancy. Our commitment to raising our child stemmed from a belief in fate and an understanding that every child is uniquely suited for their family. Thankfully, we were in a position to provide for a child with special needs, but I found it disheartening that the medical community often presented abortion as the default option following a Down syndrome diagnosis.
The narrative surrounding Down syndrome is often steeped in fear, which does not reflect the reality of our lives. While parenting a child with Down syndrome presents its own set of challenges, it also brings numerous joys. My son, now 12, is mostly nonverbal, yet he communicates profoundly through his emotions. His sense of humor fills our home with laughter, and while academic achievements may be challenging, my focus has shifted to nurturing his emotional intelligence and friendships. He finds happiness in simple pleasures, such as swinging or jumping on a trampoline, even during difficult times.
Sadly, the most challenging aspect of raising my son has been the attitudes of others. Finding appropriate daycare was a constant struggle, and schools often underestimated his abilities. The stares from strangers serve as a reminder of the biases embedded in society, exacerbated by the pro-choice movement’s framing of disability as a justification for abortion.
What do I hope for? First, I wish the pro-choice advocates would refrain from using disability as a reason for abortion. Why is it more acceptable to suggest terminating a fetus diagnosed with Down syndrome rather than simply affirming a woman’s right to control her own body? Additionally, I would like the pro-choice movement to promote unbiased information about prenatal diagnoses. When medical professionals propagate misleading narratives about life with Down syndrome, they hinder women from making truly informed decisions about their pregnancies.
Women should have access to factual data without judgment, allowing them to make choices that are best for their circumstances. For further insights on this topic, check out this related article on home insemination, and for those looking to enhance their fertility journey, consider visiting Make a Mom for fertility supplements. If you have questions about insurance coverage for fertility treatments, UCSF’s resource is an excellent place to start.
Summarizing, my experience as a pro-choice advocate and the mother of a child with Down syndrome highlights the complexity of this issue. While I support a woman’s right to choose, I believe that the portrayal of disability in the context of abortion needs to change. A more informed and compassionate dialogue about disability could empower women to make choices that truly reflect their values and circumstances.
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