To the Parents of a Child with Mental Illness: I Understand You

what is the best at-home insemination kit?

To those who may not fully grasp the struggle:

To those who have never entered a locked adolescent crisis unit.

To those who have never faced physical aggression from their own child, a child they have nurtured with every fiber of their being.

To those who offer unsolicited parenting advice, suggesting that if they were in your shoes, they would call the authorities or have the child institutionalized—perhaps even all at once.

To those who believe that mental illness stems from poor parenting or a child merely being “bad,” thinking that stricter discipline could somehow “fix” everything.

To those who are unaware of the agonizing hours spent in an ER, waiting for a psychiatric bed to open up, only to find another program has let their child down.

To those who remain blissfully ignorant of the mental health crisis gripping this country, and the long waitlists that extend for years due to a severe shortage of qualified professionals. No one wants to enter this challenging field, where the pay is dismal, causing the best doctors to only accept cash.

To the parents and caregivers:

This message is for you. For those who have exhausted all options yet refuse to give up.

For the parents who dread another visit to the ER, enduring endless waits and the frustrating cycle of not making progress.

For the parents who understand the need to protect their other children, both physically and emotionally, from a sibling struggling with mental illness.

For the parents who have become expert negotiators and master multitaskers, living in a constant state of vigilance.

This letter is for the parents who have experienced a unique kind of exhaustion.

For the parent who has run over a parking block while arguing on the phone.

For the parent who has almost wrecked their car while reflecting on the previous night’s events with their child.

For the parent who feels they can’t face another day yet finds the strength to keep going.

For the parent who frequently leaves work, misses too much time, and struggles to keep it all balanced.

For every parent whose heart aches with the fear of their child while wishing they could help them—and who feels lost about who can.

This letter is for you.

You are not alone, no matter how isolating your journey may feel.

You are acknowledged.

You are part of a community that understands.

Mental health issues affect everyone.

Those who don’t understand often attribute mental illness to bad parenting, single-parent homes, poverty, drug use, or inadequate discipline—anything but recognizing it as a symptom of an invisible illness.

Mental illness exists everywhere. It can be found in the most beautiful homes in affluent neighborhoods, as well as in the residences of doctors, lawyers, social workers, police officers, teachers, and community leaders.

To those who judge:

If you have been fortunate enough to avoid these struggles, please keep your comments to yourself.

To the parents in the trenches:

Your experience is seen. I cannot assure you that everything will turn out okay, for I cannot predict the future. But know this:

You are not alone.