I’m Empowering My Tweens to Decide About Body Hair

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My daughter recently made the decision to shave her legs. She felt it was time, especially as many of her friends began wearing shorts with smooth legs. I assured her that I was there to support her choice and would assist her, but I also made it clear that the decision regarding body hair was entirely hers. If she wanted to wait or choose not to shave at all, that was perfectly acceptable.

She opted to go ahead with shaving, and I helped her while we sat on the edge of the bathtub. That was a few weeks ago, and since then, she hasn’t expressed a desire to do it again. Perhaps it didn’t change her life as she anticipated, or maybe she’s just indifferent now. Either way, I’m completely okay with it.

Back in my middle school days, shaving your legs was a rite of passage, symbolizing that you were growing up. It was important to flaunt that you had shaved, wearing shorts or skirts regardless of the weather. For girls, it was almost an obligation to start shaving between fifth and seventh grade.

I didn’t have much leg hair, but the pressure to conform got to me. If you didn’t have a silk button-up shirt and smooth legs, you felt out of place. I ended up with cuts and burns from hair removal creams—definitely not the glamorous transformation I envisioned. In my youthful mind, I thought shaving would elevate my popularity and beauty.

In my childhood, not shaving was something only those labeled as “hippies” did. Nowadays, many people choose to embrace their natural body hair. It’s empowering to have options. I remember my first experience with hair removal lotion—what a nightmare! I miscalculated the timing, and my legs felt like they were on fire. After a frantic rinse, I emerged with smooth legs but also red splotches.

My social media feed is filled with women proudly showcasing their decision to keep their armpit hair. Many argue, if men don’t have to shave, why should we? It begs the question: when did self-harm through hair removal become a norm?

I’m teaching my children that if they’re responsible enough to shave, they can do so safely. But if they choose not to, that’s perfectly fine, too. They can always revisit their decision later. Body hair positivity extends beyond just hair choices; it influences their clothing, hairstyles, and interests—allowing them to express themselves authentically.

I’ve seen my kids thrive in activities where they were the only ones of their gender, like when my daughter played roller hockey or when one of my kids took up drums, standing out in a mostly male environment. It’s inspiring to see them break stereotypes, exploring interests that bring them joy.

Growing up, I remember the discomfort of wearing tights for special occasions while boys had the freedom of khakis with pockets. I don’t want my kids to endure such discomfort, whether it’s about clothing or body hair.

Body hair can stay if that’s what makes them comfortable, or it can go. Their choices don’t need validation from anyone. Adolescence is a time to explore identity, and I want them to learn about healthy boundaries and the importance of not having to justify their choices to others.

I hope more parents will embrace body hair positivity and educate their children that altering their bodies is optional. Regardless of what my kids decide, I want them to understand that they should respect the choices of others as well. After all, happiness might just come from respecting each other’s personal choices.

For more insights, check out this blog post on home insemination kits, which delves into choices regarding body and family planning. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility journeys, you can explore this resource. And for those navigating pregnancy, March of Dimes offers valuable information.

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Summary:

This article discusses how a parent is guiding their tweens in making choices about body hair. It emphasizes the importance of personal choice, body positivity, and self-expression during adolescence. The author shares their own experiences with societal pressures regarding body hair and encourages their children to feel confident in their decisions, whether to shave or not. The piece highlights the need for acceptance and respect for individual choices, fostering a supportive environment for kids to express themselves.


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