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Recently, a group of women I consider close friends went out for dinner and drinks without inviting me. I woke up one morning to find a flurry of social media posts announcing “Girls’ Night!” They were all gathered around a big, inviting table, clinking drinks and grinning from ear to ear.
As I scrolled through the photos with captions like “Much needed!” and “Drinks with the girls!”, it hit me hard: I wasn’t part of this outing. My first instinct was to feel a wave of sadness wash over me, reminiscent of those painful moments in high school when I was left out of the “cool kids” gatherings.
I thought about posting a snarky comment like, “Thanks for the invite,” but quickly deleted it. At 33, I realized that this kind of behavior was juvenile. I shared my feelings with my husband, who tried to comfort me with various excuses. “You can’t be the only one left out,” he said. “They probably didn’t mean anything by it.” And he posed a good question: “Would you have even gone?” Given that I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant, the answer was likely no.
But that didn’t change the fact that I felt unwanted. My frustration grew, and I found myself thinking, “Next time I have fun plans, I know who I won’t be inviting!” My husband suggested that I reach out to one of them and ask what happened, promising a reasonable explanation would ease my mind. Instead, I chose to take a step back.
Over the next couple of weeks, I reflected on my emotions. I considered if I had inadvertently upset any of them and observed their interactions with me post-girls’ night. I thought about what was happening in my life and theirs. After some reflection, I realized that wanting to be included is natural, but I didn’t want an invite out of pity.
I’ve faced exclusion before, and I’m sure I’ve unintentionally excluded others in the past too. So, do my friends owe me an explanation for their actions? I don’t think so. The truth is, I won’t always be everyone’s favorite person. I can be a bit sarcastic, overly candid about my pregnancy, and sometimes just not everyone’s cup of tea. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I’m sure I don’t appreciate everyone’s quirks all the time either.
At the end of the day, it’s not about fitting in all the time. My husband is always there to support me, and I hope my friends feel the same way, because we’re adults and I genuinely care about them.
For additional insights on navigating friendships, consider checking out this other blog post. Also, if you’re interested in pregnancy resources, visit this excellent site that covers various aspects of pregnancy. And if you’re on your own journey to parenthood, Make A Mom offers valuable resources about artificial insemination kits.
Summary
Being left out by friends can stir up feelings of sadness and frustration, especially when you’re navigating significant life changes, like pregnancy. While it’s easy to feel hurt and assume the worst, taking time to reflect can provide a clearer perspective. Often, friendships evolve, and not every gathering will include everyone. Understanding this can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.
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