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Let me be straightforward. I never imagined myself as a mother, let alone as a solo parent. Growing up, I wasn’t the type to dream about raising children. Instead, I spent my childhood pretending to be a rock star or a news anchor, never playing with dolls or daydreaming about family life.
When my son arrived, it was a delightful surprise—an extraordinary twist in my life that I never anticipated. I’m grateful that my journey diverged from my original plans, as the universe clearly intended for me to have him. Knowing my son has transformed me into a better person, and I’m endlessly amazed by the privilege of guiding his adventurous spirit.
However, stepping into this role without prior expectation means I often feel lost. Parenting would be much simpler if babies came with an instruction manual. To complicate things further, I’m not just a single mom; I’m a solo mom. This means there are no weekends off or anyone to share the burdens of discipline and daily struggles. While I’m fortunate to have my mother around, it’s not the same as having a committed partner by my side.
My son’s father, whom I refer to as a co-creator, resides in Ireland. We fell in love while I backpacked across Europe, but when I became pregnant and he chose not to participate in our child’s life, he earned the title of coward instead of father.
Navigating life as a solo mom can be challenging. Beyond the obvious hurdles like finances and responsibilities, it’s the constant reminder of couples co-parenting that hits hardest. Whether at swimming lessons or school events, I see families supporting their children together, and I often feel like an outsider.
I witness women with partners who share their excitement for their children, and it astonishes me. It’s like watching something surreal. Yet, I have to remind myself that the reality of those relationships might not be as perfect as it seems. They could be more like roommates than soulmates.
Still, the thought of having someone to share in my son’s milestones and joys is tempting. To have someone to lean on, to celebrate with, and to experience life alongside would be a blessing I’ve never known.
That said, I don’t want anyone to pity me. I take pride in my independence and self-sufficiency. I’ve never felt the need to rely on a partner for validation. I’m strong enough to know that my worth isn’t tied to anyone else.
This isn’t about bitterness or pessimism—love is beautiful for those lucky ones who find it. For me, my “person” is my son. No role has made me feel more valued and cherished than being his mother. It’s a bond that’s unbreakable.
Recently, my son overheard someone remark, “I don’t know how you manage alone.” Later, he asked, “Mom, aren’t you happy to be a solo mom?” When I probed further, he explained that if we were like other families with dads, we wouldn’t have the same special time together. He enjoys our unique bond.
He’s right. Being a solo mom has its hidden perks. I make all the decisions about our lives, and I get to cherish every moment with him. He seeks comfort from me, shares his day, and turns to me for guidance.
It might seem selfish, but there is beauty in our duo dynamic. We are a team, and I am his number one, just as he is mine. As a wise saying goes, “Any woman can be a mother, but it takes a badass woman to be a father, too.”
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, you can read another one of our blog posts here. For those looking to boost fertility, check out this article for helpful supplements. Additionally, Science Daily offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary:
The author reflects on her unexpected journey into motherhood as a solo parent, expressing gratitude for her son while grappling with the challenges of parenting alone. She emphasizes the joys and unique bond she shares with her child, recognizing the hidden benefits of being a solo mom despite societal pressures. Ultimately, she asserts her strength and independence, finding fulfillment in her role as a mother.
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