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During my journey through a tough breakup, I kept hearing, “You’ve got this!” It’s a phrase that really grated on my nerves, especially when I felt anything but okay. It’s easy for someone on the sidelines to tell you that you can handle things when they aren’t the ones facing the storm.
You know that whole “Put-Your-Hair-Up-And-Get-Things-Done” mentality? Snap a pic and show everyone how well you’re managing. Keep it together for the kids. Go out and meet someone new! Sure, we all know we’ll eventually get through tough times and come to terms with changes in our lives. We understand that time can heal wounds, but what about the waiting period when it just hurts?
That’s the real challenge. We live in a society that promotes “walking it off,” with people writing entire books about how to simply wash your face to feel better. This mentality often leads us to bury our sadness and anxiety deep down, allowing those emotions to twist and turn inside us while we insist they don’t exist. We tell ourselves we’ve got it handled, thinking a new outfit or a burst of activity will somehow fix our feelings.
I fell for that trap for a while. I thought if I acted like everything was fantastic and avoided my emotions, they would just wash away. But that’s not how it works, and deep down, we all know it.
There are days when I drive around with sad songs playing, letting the tears flow. There are nights I crawl into bed at seven because I simply can’t face another minute of the day. Sometimes, I leave messages unanswered, skip shaving my legs, let the laundry pile up, and just stare out the window. I refuse to spend my life pushing through without allowing myself to feel what I need to feel.
When we’re feeling good, we often act on it. We pamper ourselves, work out, dance to our favorite tunes, buy something that makes us feel confident, and express our creativity. But why is it that when we’re feeling down, we often push ourselves to act energized, as if we should be ready to tackle projects or write that novel?
Let me tell you, embracing my “sad girl” side has been transformative. Why? Because when I allow myself to feel sadness, anxiety, frustration, or exhaustion—emotions that society often labels as weak or lazy—I recover much faster than if I force myself to be upbeat. My energy returns quicker. I sleep better. I find it easier to forgive myself and others. When I grant myself the time and space to be sad, the real me starts to reemerge.
Just the other day, I cried during my drive to the grocery store. When I arrived, I didn’t even have the strength to step out of the car. There was no specific reason for my mood; I was just feeling low. Instead of forcing myself to get out and shop, I decided to grab a soda from my favorite fast food place and called my best friend, chatting for over an hour. After that, I felt ready to take on the grocery store.
Not long ago, I would have marched in, ignored my feelings, and ended up irritated, which would have spilled over onto my kids. But because I chose to pause and do what felt right instead of pushing through, I avoided a meltdown and reconnected with my feelings.
I’m not suggesting we always give in to our emotions when we feel unmotivated; some days, getting fresh air or putting on a little makeup can genuinely lift our spirits. But we also know when it won’t help, and pushing through could just leave us feeling more drained.
Let’s normalize the idea that “hot girl shit” is only a part of our lives. Everyone experiences “sad girl shit,” whether they admit it or not. We all have our off days. Take it from someone who used to ignore those feelings: I’m much happier now that I allow myself to feel instead of trying to smile through the pain.
For more insights, check out this post on sad girl vibes and consider exploring resources on fertility supplements at Make a Mom or learn about intrauterine insemination on the NHS website.
Summary:
This article discusses the importance of embracing and acknowledging one’s emotions, especially during difficult times. It contrasts the societal pressure to maintain a “hot girl” image with the necessity of allowing oneself to experience sadness and vulnerability. By sharing personal anecdotes, the piece advocates for normalizing the acknowledgment of emotional struggles as part of life, emphasizing that accepting these feelings can lead to faster healing and a more authentic self.
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