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Two months ago, I made the decision to share a deeply personal battle with my social media followers. After enduring weeks of pain and numerous symptoms, I was faced with the removal of my breast implants and a recurrence of breast cancer in my chest wall. Upon discovering a lump, I quickly reached out to my doctor, leading to a series of appointments and scans that resulted in a second breast cancer diagnosis within four years.
I felt compelled to share my story because it was exhausting to keep it hidden. I firmly believe in using personal struggles as a platform for advocacy and education, hoping to either prevent someone else from facing the same challenges or help them navigate their own journey. Following my breast cancer announcement on social media, I gained thousands of new followers within a matter of weeks. However, that surge abruptly halted when I began discussing the vital topic of anti-racism.
Initially, my posts revolved around my upcoming surgeries and recovery updates. I continued to advocate for self-breast exams and welcomed many new followers, many of whom shared their own breast cancer experiences. I received an outpouring of support, including gifts for my family and encouraging messages.
But when I started posting about anti-racism, I noticed my follower count plummeting—first by dozens, then hundreds. It seemed that while my cancer journey (or what some of my followers referred to as “trauma porn”) drew empathy and support, discussing racism made many uncomfortable enough to unfollow me.
I received messages from some followers suggesting what I should and shouldn’t post. Some accused me of being “racist against white people,” prompting me to explain that such a concept doesn’t exist, just like colorblindness and reverse racism. Others insisted I should focus solely on my health, failing to recognize that anti-racism is a moral imperative that intersects with every aspect of life. The stark reality is that my journey through cancer is considered more inspirational and worthy of attention than the everyday realities faced by my children and others who share their skin color.
When I pointed out the unfollows on social media, a few responded with “good riddance.” Initially, I agreed, thinking that those who wished to distance themselves were simply revealing their true colors. However, the more I pondered it, the more frustrated I became. I don’t mind if they choose not to follow me, but their decision to disengage when confronted with issues of race is troubling. If they can’t handle these conversations from a white woman with privilege, it’s likely they aren’t engaging with BIPOC voices either.
This behavior reinforces white supremacy and is rooted in privilege and fragility. Their longstanding beliefs influence their actions, affecting conversations in committee meetings, boardrooms, and various social settings. Racism proliferates through microaggressions, stereotypes, and policies.
In truth, those individuals need to remain engaged and confront their own biases. But instead, they choose to leave. They prefer to witness my struggles with cancer rather than learn how to advocate for individuals of color and dismantle oppressive systems.
I’m committed to continuing my anti-racism advocacy, even if it means losing followers. Popularity is not my goal on social media; it’s about sharing valuable information for the benefit of others. From the start, my intention has been to educate and inform, and I will persist in doing so. I wish my children’s lives and the fight for equity received as much attention as my cancer journey and the associated pink ribbons.
Ignoring the realities faced by people of color, including my children, only serves to perpetuate systems of supremacy. Ignorance isn’t bliss; it’s harmful, particularly to the Black community. Lives are at stake, and it is the responsibility of every white person to contribute to dismantling the harmful systems in place. Prioritizing comfort over confronting these issues—whether through viral videos, celebrity gossip, or my health updates—will not lead to a more equitable society. The goal should always be to foster understanding and action, rather than to maintain white comfort.
To those who unfollowed me, that’s fine. I noticed, but I don’t need your presence in my life. What troubles me, though, is understanding your reasoning for leaving. I wonder when, if ever, you will recognize that another’s life is just as valuable as your own.
If you’re interested in additional perspectives on these topics, check out this blog post on Home Insemination Kit or learn more about Cryobaby’s At-Home Insemination Kit, a trusted authority on this subject. Also, you can explore American Pregnancy’s resource on donor insemination.
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Summary:
In sharing her struggle with a second breast cancer diagnosis, the author gained significant social media traction but lost many followers when addressing anti-racism. She reflects on the discomfort surrounding conversations about race, emphasizing the importance of anti-racist advocacy as a moral issue rather than a political one. Despite the unfollows, she remains committed to her mission of education and support for marginalized communities, highlighting the need for white individuals to engage in dismantling systems of oppression.
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