Why We Should Reconsider the Term ‘The Lost Year’

what is the best at-home insemination kit?

In discussions about children and the pandemic, the phrase “the lost year” often surfaces. Many express concern that kids are falling behind academically, missing key milestones, and losing social opportunities. Every time I hear this term, it makes me uneasy.

While it’s undeniable that this past year has been incredibly challenging—with real losses such as lives and livelihoods—these aren’t the losses most parents mean when they lament a “lost year.” Instead, they focus on the perceived gaps in academic progress, social skills, and friendships. I urge parents to pause and rethink how they perceive and articulate their children’s experiences over the past year.

When the world first shut down, my primary concern, alongside my family’s health, was the effect of social isolation on my middle school-aged children. They were navigating a crucial phase of adolescence, which is marked by significant brain development and social dynamics.

Judith Warner, author of “And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School,” highlights that early adolescence is a critical period for growth, akin to the developmental changes seen in toddlers. Before the pandemic, my children were on track with their social and academic development, building friendships and handling school demands. However, remote learning and isolation drastically limited their interactions, which are vital at this age. They missed out on casual conversations during group projects, shared laughter at lunchtime, and friendly rivalries during games at the park.

While virtual connections like FaceTime and gaming offered some solace, they lacked the same depth and independence. As Phyllis Fagell, a school counselor and author, noted, middle schoolers are meant to distance themselves from parents and focus on discovering their social roles, a process that was largely interrupted.

Parents share our concerns about our children potentially missing essential developmental milestones, but we must be wary of voicing these worries. Experts suggest that our apprehensions may be exaggerated. Most children are resilient and will emerge from this experience just fine.

This resilience stems from their brain’s flexibility, which allows for adaptation during challenging times. Laurence Steinberg, a psychology professor, asserts that while middle schoolers face vulnerabilities, they are also well-equipped to adjust and thrive.

However, the past year has indeed been tough, and for some children, the mental toll has been significant. Increased reports of anxiety and depression among teens are alarming, and if you notice your child struggling, it’s crucial to take action—whether that means contacting their school or seeking therapy.

Yet, in our quest to support our children, we must be cautious about how we frame their experiences. Research indicates that many kids feel that their parents are unhappy with them, and this perception can contribute to their feelings of anxiety. Mitch Prinstein, a psychology professor, emphasizes the importance of shifting our focus from hardship to recognizing kids’ resilience.

To help our children move forward, we should:

1. Stop using the phrase “lost year.” Acknowledge that while they may have missed some experiences, there were also new opportunities, like relaxed schedules and more family time.
2. Ease up on screen time restrictions. Many kids thrived during the pandemic by staying connected through social media and video games, which helped mitigate feelings of isolation.
3. Celebrate their adaptability. Recognize and praise your children’s ability to navigate the challenges of remote learning and social distancing. They’ve shown remarkable strength and flexibility throughout this tough time.
4. Have faith in their resilience. While this year has been hard, it will pass. Our children have the capacity to bounce back, and many are already demonstrating that they are okay.

By reframing our perspective, we can support our children more effectively as they transition out of this unprecedented year. For more insights, check out additional resources such as this blog post or Make A Mom for expert advice on home insemination, as well as News Medical for informative articles on IVF and pregnancy.

Summary

The past year, often labeled as “the lost year,” brought significant challenges for children, particularly in their developmental stages. However, most will adapt and emerge resilient. Parents should reframe their narratives, acknowledge gains, and support their children’s social and emotional health while remaining mindful of the impact of their own worries.