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For the last several months, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to respond to the familiar question, “How are you?” Should I share that I’m overwhelmed by pandemic fatigue, grappling with the weight of every decision, or should I express gratitude for my health, a safe family, and a stable job? Or perhaps I should be honest and admit that most days, I feel a jumble of loneliness, frustration, gratitude, fear, and exhaustion, all mixed with confusion about my life’s direction.
I suspect that this isn’t the answer most people are looking for, so I typically just exhale and say, “I’m fine…I guess.” But the reality is – like many of you, I’m not fine. Just because we aren’t in a state of crisis and feel thankful for what we have doesn’t mean we’re thriving.
To be candid, I’ve been feeling a lot like Eeyore lately. I don’t feel terrible, but I don’t feel particularly good either. While my situation has improved compared to six months ago, when I was constantly exhausted, I still feel… well, off.
I find myself unproductive, unmotivated, and lethargic, spending too much time sighing. My response to most inquiries is simply, “Who cares?”
Until recently, I thought I was alone in this feeling. Then I came across a popular article by Alex Johnson in the New York Times that identified this sensation as “languishing.” It resonated with so many people because it reflects a shared experience.
“Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness,” Johnson explains. “It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.” This seems to capture the mood of 2021 for many of us.
While some individuals are genuinely struggling and others are thriving, a significant number are languishing. We aren’t depressed, but we aren’t truly happy either; we’re just… blah.
Languishing manifests as decreased motivation, difficulty focusing, and diminished productivity. It is characterized by sighing, a sense of confusion, and anxiety about getting our hopes up.
There is some cause for optimism — vaccines are widely accessible, and many people I know have received at least one dose. Even the CDC has noted a “really hopeful decline” in daily cases. However, after enduring 15 months of grim news, anything that isn’t dread feels unsettling. Looking forward to something enjoyable, like a family vacation or a BBQ with friends, can feel like setting myself up for disappointment.
What Can We Do About This Feeling of Languishing?
The first step is to acknowledge it. Instead of the usual “fine” or “good,” we can share our true feelings when asked. This can help counteract the pressure to maintain a facade of constant positivity.
Additionally, Johnson suggests seeking small moments of “flow” in our day-to-day lives — activities that immerse us in a meaningful challenge. This could include cleaning out a closet, completing a crossword puzzle, or tending to a garden.
Recognizing our individual and collective struggles is crucial. As Johnson notes, “Not depressed doesn’t mean you’re not struggling.” I’ll admit, I am struggling — not as much as before, but each day still feels like a chore. Knowing there’s a term for it — languishing — and that others share this feeling brings me a bit of comfort.
Perhaps it brings you comfort too.
If you’re interested in more insights on home insemination, you might enjoy reading about the experiences of Nurse Sarah Thompson in another one of our blog posts. For authoritative advice, check out this resource on infertility.
For those curious about self-insemination, you can find useful products at Make A Mom that can assist you in your journey.
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Summary:
This article discusses the feeling of languishing, a sense of stagnation and emptiness that many are experiencing during these challenging times. It encourages readers to acknowledge their feelings rather than conform to societal expectations of positivity. By finding small moments of flow and sharing our true emotions, we can begin to navigate through this collective experience.
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