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Before I ventured back into dating in 2016, I had rarely encountered men who labeled women as “crazy.” My previous experiences were with respectful men, including my ex-husband, who understood that emotional reactions don’t equate to insanity. Growing up with three sisters and a single mother, I witnessed emotional exchanges frequently, yet we never deemed each other “crazy” for having feelings.
However, once I began dating post-divorce, I was shocked to hear men casually throw around the term “crazy” when discussing women. Their Tinder profiles often included phrases like “No crazy exes here!” or “My ex was crazy, so don’t swipe right if you are too.” It was cringe-worthy.
The pattern was clear: men who frequently labeled their exes as “crazy” were usually the common denominator in the situation. If every woman he dated is “crazy,” then perhaps he’s the problem. Many of these men had questionable behaviors—lying, cheating, or being emotionally unavailable.
For instance, after a few drinks, a man might say, “My ex was always upset, she was just so needy! She was crazy!” But when you dig deeper, you often find out he had cheated or neglected her emotionally.
Let’s be clear: a woman isn’t crazy for expressing her needs or reacting to disrespect. In fact, men often overreact when their egos are bruised, raising the question of who the “crazy” one really is.
As a mother of two boys, I am committed to teaching them that using the term “crazy” to describe women is unacceptable. It’s essential that they understand this is not a term to use when a woman is upset or emotional, as it only perpetuates harmful stereotypes.
I recently listened to a podcast featuring two comedians who discussed their past dating lives. One comedian pointed out that if his friends are calling women “crazy,” they need to reflect on their treatment of those women. He said, “Dude, she’s acting like that because you’re being shady!”
We must encourage women to express themselves and their needs without being labeled. Men have historically acted out without facing similar judgments, whether through competitiveness or aggression.
I refuse to let my sons use this term. If I don’t instill these values in them while they are young, who will? They won’t learn it from their friends or social media. I want them to have empathy and understand the impact of their actions on others. Crying or showing emotion doesn’t equate to craziness; it signifies humanity.
If I ever hear them use that term, they’ll learn exactly what “crazy” means.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of teaching young boys to avoid using derogatory labels like “crazy” when discussing women. It highlights the problematic nature of this term and encourages empathy and understanding of emotional reactions. The author shares personal experiences and insights from a podcast that advocates for women’s rights to express their feelings without judgment.
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