This Mother’s Day, I'm Honoring ALL The Remarkable Women In My Life

From my earliest memories, the desire to be a mother was deeply ingrained in me. I carried my beloved brown-haired, white Cabbage Patch doll everywhere, complete with her adoption card. Before I became a parent, I envisioned countless scenarios of life as a mom — the joy of being called “mommy,” attending school events, joining the PTA, and baking homemade cookies for my kids when they came home from school.

For years, I struggled with the absence of my own mother, yearning to become the kind of mom I had always dreamed of — a vision I believed I could achieve alone. However, I have come to realize that motherhood isn’t a solitary journey; it thrives on the support of a vibrant community. This Mother’s Day, I feel immense gratitude for the incredible women surrounding me, and with age comes understanding of my own identity as a mother. While I can’t draw from the influence of my biological mother, the women in my present life have become my support system, and I cherish every one of them.

According to a 2013 report by the Pew Research Center, there are 7 million children in the U.S., with 3 million living with grandparents as their primary caregivers. I was fortunate to be raised by my maternal grandparents, who provided me with the love and nurturing typical of Southern grandparents. My grandmother imparted invaluable lessons about creating a warm home, cooking, and the enduring power of love. Her belief that love conquers all is something that remains with me, especially on tough days.

I often reflect on the wise words of Oprah Winfrey: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” My grandmother could never replace my mother, but she filled that nurturing role in my life during my most needed times. Even now, she continues to teach me about resilience.

Unlike many who might struggle with in-law relationships, my wife and I are fortunate to have a strong and positive bond with our in-laws. I particularly appreciate the time I spend with my mother-in-law, who has taught me so much about balancing work and motherhood. She regularly checks in on me, reminds me to take care of myself when I’m unwell, and has even been helping me cultivate a healthy garden.

Women have the freedom to choose how they navigate the world. Jill Churchill once said, “There is no way to a perfect mother-in-law but millions of ways to be a good one.” My mother-in-law lovingly nudges me in ways that I will one day do for my own children and their partners. It has taken significant effort from both of us to nurture our relationship, but it’s worth it for the family we’ve created together. My mother-in-law chooses to understand me and respects our imperfections.

Motherhood is far beyond what I once envisioned — it is both challenging and rewarding in ways I never anticipated. In fact, I’m even writing a book about my experiences! This Mother’s Day, I choose to recognize and appreciate the extraordinary women who make up my community. The relationships we build are invaluable, not just for our own growth but for the benefit of our children. By learning from and valuing the women around us, we can become the best versions of ourselves.

This article was originally published on May 7, 2021.

Summary:

This Mother’s Day, I celebrate the incredible women in my life, acknowledging that motherhood is a shared journey enriched by community support. From my nurturing grandparents to my understanding mother-in-law, each woman has played a significant role in shaping who I am as a parent. As I reflect on my experiences, I appreciate the relationships I’ve built, which empower me to be my best self for my children.