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The last few weeks have felt like a whirlwind. Being a solo parent is challenging even on the best days. On the worst days, it resembles navigating a fast-spinning kaleidoscope. When those tough days accumulate into weeks, solo parenting transforms into a balancing act of simply staying afloat.
I’m just now regaining my footing after a particularly tough stretch. Amid the usual responsibilities of solo motherhood, I faced two late-night health scares that left me wishing for another parent nearby—someone to help me assess whether I was overreacting or being too passive. I had to make significant decisions about my kids’ futures without anyone who loves and understands them as I do, and I juggled the challenge of being in three places at once.
As I emerge from this recent chaos, I realize that Mother’s Day is almost here. The greeting card aisle is a sea of pink, my social media feeds are filled with sentimental messages, and vendors are bombarding me with ideas about what moms really desire this Mother’s Day.
From these ads, it seems mothers crave more sleep, some solitude, and perhaps a piece of jewelry engraved with their children’s initials. Those are lovely sentiments. A few years back, before I became a solo mom, I probably would have wished for the same things.
However, these days, I find myself wanting to skip Mother’s Day altogether. From my perspective as a solo parent, this holiday—which celebrates moms with the notion of a partner who will provide a “day off,” buy the cards, entertain the kids, and post on social media—serves as a stark reminder that I’m navigating this journey entirely on my own. Especially during a pandemic, it’s exhausting in ways that even caffeine can’t remedy.
It’s a reminder I’d rather avoid.
Honestly, it’s easier to ignore this truth. It’s simpler to keep my head down, wake up on the second Sunday in May, and handle the daily tasks necessary to keep my kids and myself moving forward.
But this year feels different. Perhaps Mother’s Day is a reminder I actually need. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge that I’m doing all of this alone—even if I’ve lost sight of how remarkable that is. I can’t be the only solo mom who has been so focused on the daily grind that she forgot to pause and appreciate her achievements. Perhaps I’m not the only one who needs a reminder this Mother’s Day that what we’re doing is nothing short of extraordinary and deserves recognition.
I hesitate to use the word “strong”—most solo moms likely feel the same way. It’s not an insult; it’s just that often we feel the complete opposite of strong. We simply have no option but to keep going and fulfill our children’s needs.
Labeling the daily grind as “strong” implies that others can’t see the fragile facade I maintain, which often feels on the verge of collapse. Instead, I prefer to think of what we do as extraordinary—more than ordinary, more than typical, and definitely more than simply strong. This past year has shown how extraordinary solo moms truly are.
Running a household alone—regardless of how smoothly it operates—is far from ordinary. Managing everything without anyone to share the burden is beyond just being strong. Providing a sense of safety for our children in an uncertain world is truly extraordinary. Even on days when it feels anything but, it is.
Mother’s Day can be tough for many, laden with various emotions. It’s a day to honor mothers, yet for countless individuals, it serves as a reminder of what or who is missing. My heart goes out to everyone facing challenges this Mother’s Day; words can’t alleviate that pain.
For the solo moms out there, perhaps taking a moment to reflect on all you’ve accomplished alone will help you feel seen, heard, and celebrated. Because truly, what you do is extraordinary.
For further reading, check out this blog post on home insemination and explore these excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, this Mother’s Day, let’s take a moment to celebrate the extraordinary efforts of solo moms. Amid the challenges and complexities of parenting alone, it’s important to recognize and appreciate all that you’ve accomplished.
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