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In the familiar nursery rhyme, “First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage,” we often learn about traditional romantic relationships. However, the notion of marriage isn’t confined to these heteronormative ideals. Recently, platonic marriages have gained attention as a valid form of partnership, highlighting the importance of friendship, companionship, and emotional support.
According to a recent article in the New York Times, “Some people are taking their friendships a giant step further.” They are choosing to enter into platonic marriages, pledging commitment to one another in a non-romantic context. These couples often share a deep understanding and compatibility, establishing their own guidelines for a fulfilling relationship without the influence of romantic feelings. Many opt for this arrangement to keep their family life distinct from their romantic endeavors, especially if their romantic relationships feel unstable.
Understanding Platonic Marriages
A platonic marriage, much like platonic love, centers on friendship rather than sexual attraction. This type of union can occur among any gender combination, including men and women, same-sex couples, or any mutually agreed pairing. As Kathy Nickerson, a marriage counselor, succinctly puts it, “A platonic marriage is simply defined as a marriage that is non-sexual.”
Can Any Marriage Transition to Platonic?
Yes, any marriage can evolve into a platonic one, provided both partners agree to the change. Angela Amias, a licensed therapist, explains that a marriage might start as a romantic one but shift to a platonic arrangement due to various factors. This can happen when intimacy fades or when one partner identifies differently but wishes to maintain their bond. The key is mutual consent regarding the nature of the relationship.
Historical Context of Platonic Marriages
While not extensively documented, the idea of platonic marriages has existed for centuries. In the 15th century, scholar Marsilio Ficino introduced the concept of amor platonicus, or platonic love, inspired by Plato’s belief that love transcends the physical realm. The Catholic Church also recognized this idea through the concept of Josephite marriages, which align with the principles of platonic unions.
The Prevalence of Platonic Marriages
Though comprehensive statistics on platonic marriages are scarce, a past report from the National Health and Social Life Survey indicated that around 2% of married respondents had no sexual intimacy for at least a year. This suggests that a small percentage of married couples may already be, or could soon be, in a platonic relationship.
Why Opt for a Platonic Marriage?
There are numerous reasons individuals might choose a platonic marriage. Beyond tax benefits, these relationships offer intentional and committed family structures. Amias notes that platonic marriages often experience less jealousy and foster deeper connections that can sometimes be lost in traditional marriages. They are particularly appealing to asexual, aromantic, pansexual, and some polyamorous couples. For those transitioning from a romantic to a platonic marriage, this arrangement can serve as an alternative to divorce while still allowing couples to maintain their partnership.
Do Platonic Marriages Succeed?
If both partners have a clear understanding of the relationship’s framework and communicate effectively, platonic marriages can certainly thrive. Like any other marriage, this union faces challenges, but with flexibility and open communication, success is attainable. As noted by relationship expert Lila Thompson, “If both partners have clear understandings of what is expected… who are any of us to say it won’t work?”
For more insights on related topics, check out our other blog posts about home insemination and fertility boosters. Additionally, for a comprehensive understanding of assisted reproductive technology, visit this CDC resource.
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