From The Confessional: Religion Almost Ruined My Life

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Throughout history, organized religion has frequently oppressed women and marginalized ethnic and racial groups. In many instances, abuse has been rationalized in the name of faith, while hatred and judgment have been cloaked in religious dogma. For centuries, scandals have been swept under the rug to protect influential religious figures. Women have been coerced into motherhood, communities have been torn apart by violence, and children have been subjected to harmful conversion therapy. Moreover, LGBTQ individuals have been denied their right to love freely and to live authentically—all justified by a supposed higher power.

This toxic environment can inflict wounds so deep that many struggle for a lifetime to heal. Nonetheless, numerous individuals manage to escape these shackles, discovering an alternative path—one that embraces authenticity and doesn’t pass judgment on missing church, using profanity, enjoying a drink, preventing pregnancy, or embracing sexuality.

It’s important to recognize that religion itself isn’t inherently negative. Many places of worship and leaders promote genuine compassion, kindness, and community support, welcoming everyone regardless of their background.

However, those religious groups that enforce a singular way of life, silence victims of domestic and child abuse, and shame individuals for their choices—like how they dress or their reproductive decisions—are the ones that cause immense suffering. These are the institutions that see a decline in membership as families seek liberation and choose joy over oppression.

Reflecting on my own experiences, I realize the painful truth that fear and religious conditioning led me to settle in life. I feel increasingly trapped within my marriage, which began with promise but has since devolved into a right-wing religious existence. I’ve found a way out, but my partner remains ensnared. It’s disheartening.

Confessional Reflections:

• “Due to religion, I lost my virginity to my husband, did not terminate an unwanted pregnancy, and dressed modestly. I’m now agnostic and feel like I’ve wasted my life.”
• “Standing up for my own needs was foreign to me, but it’s getting easier. I was taught to neglect myself for my husband and children. Now, I see that my family is better off without my self-sacrifice.”
• “Many women reflect on how religion controlled their choices and left them feeling trapped from a young age. I had children because I was conditioned to believe it was my purpose, despite not wanting them.”
• “My religion forbids birth control, and I wish I could escape the burden of pregnancy altogether.”
• “If I could relive my life, I wouldn’t have kids. Parenting has consumed me, and I resent religion for teaching me this was my only value.”

The rigid expectations surrounding motherhood, especially the traditional stay-at-home role, often leave young girls with no other options, even if they have no desire to be mothers. Their faith doesn’t allow for alternative paths.

It’s devastating to recognize that your parents prioritize their religion over your well-being, and that when faced with a choice, they would choose the church without hesitation.

Many express relief at the passing of in-laws whose toxic beliefs caused chaos and pain in their lives. Their deaths provided a sense of liberation, as their harmful ideologies no longer exerted influence.

The journey toward breaking free from oppressive religious beliefs can be challenging but ultimately liberating. Those who leave often find greater happiness and fulfillment in their lives.

Freedom from organized religion can lead to a renewed sense of self and purpose. It allows individuals to live authentically, embracing love and compassion for others.

For those seeking to escape toxic faiths, it’s vital to find communities that truly welcome all and promote kindness, rather than judgment.

If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and home insemination. You might also find value in this blog post about finding joy outside the traditional religious path.