From The Confessional: The Cycle of Mean Girls

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We’ve all encountered them during our formative years. Perhaps you were a victim of their cruelty, or maybe you found yourself in their ranks. It’s rare for any girl to navigate childhood and adolescence without some impact from the mean girls. Just when you think you’ve escaped that toxic environment, you realize that mean girls often evolve into mean moms, perpetuating the cycle by raising a new generation of Regina Georges.

It’s our responsibility as mothers to end this pattern. We must nurture kind-hearted daughters—girls who embrace inclusivity, uplift others, and avoid seeking opportunities to belittle or humiliate. This type of parenting requires constant vigilance. Too often, parents are oblivious to their child’s mean behavior until they hear about a hurtful incident.

Since we can all recall the mean girls from our youth—and still witness this behavior in adult women who never matured past their teenage years—our confessional is filled with stories of these experiences. Women share tales of lingering pain from decades past and mothers recount the fear of seeing their children face the same torment.

Confessional Stories

Confessional #25833689: Is there a polite way to point out that “your mom is a mean girl with terrible skin” when her kids praise her as a saint? After 15 years, I’m exhausted by the drama.

Confessional #25750472: I can spot a mean girl from a distance. The girls in my daughter’s third-grade class mirror their mothers—dressed in athleisure wear and sporting messy buns. I’ve advised my daughter to respond with kindness, but it’s disheartening to see such pettiness at such a young age.

Confessional #25815314: My so-called “friend” seems stuck in her high school days, behaving like a mean girl, albeit now as a frumpy middle-aged mom.

Confessional #24726977: Church has its own set of mean girls—specifically, the middle-aged ones. I wouldn’t care so much if their kids didn’t threaten my daughter’s self-esteem. My husband and I have agreed that if the situation escalates, we won’t hold back.

Confessional #25754595: Recognizing mean girl moms feels like a punch to the gut, dragging me back to the horrors of seventh grade. Even more heartbreaking is that they’re raising the next generation of mean girls.

Confessional #25753533: I hope the mean girl moms realize how belittling they make me feel when they act as if I don’t exist, even when I’m right beside them. Someday, I hope they experience that same shame.

Confessional #24934233: Does it hurt more when they intentionally exclude me or when they simply ignore me? Mean Girls: The 30s Edition.

Confessional #25818602: Even as adults, we still feel the sting of mean girl behavior—being left out, ignored, or talked about behind our backs. The pain is just as real now as it was then. I’ve distanced myself from toxic friends who drain my energy. We’re in our 50s and 60s, yet they still act like high school girls. Plastic mean girls never truly grow up!

Confessional #25761423: A few of my female co-workers have started excluding me, and honestly, I’m relieved. They’re mean girls, and I prefer not to associate with them. It feels like a win.

Confessional #23864674: Once, a friend sent out a mass email about another mom’s unibrow, complete with a photo. Mean girls don’t stop in high school. I cut her out of my life; I’m better off without that negativity.

Confessional #25817822: The best course of action is often to remove mean girls from your life. It can be tough, but having a smaller, drama-free circle is worth it. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are demanding, fake, and downright mean. I’ll tolerate them for my husband’s sake, but I refuse to subject my kids to their nonsense any longer.

Confessional #25791392: My mom and stepmom often behave like oblivious, entitled mean girls in their 70s.

Confessional #25788028: My first encounter with a mean girl was my narcissistic mother. School was the least of my worries; I envied kids who wanted to go home after classes.

Confessional #25592145: Beneath her sweet exterior, my sister-in-law is a self-satisfied covert narcissist who bullies from the shadows. She’s been too catty for me to ignore, yet somehow I’m painted as the “bitch.”

The worst situation is being related to mean girls—whether by blood or marriage. Even as adults, their impact can be felt during family gatherings. Hopefully, this motivates us to raise kinder children.

Confessional #25785264: I looked up the high school mean girl from my past—she has the perfect life now. After 25 years, I called her work pretending to be a woman confessing to an affair with her husband. Sweet revenge!

Confessional #25765087: The memories of how the mean girls treated me in college still linger. I’m now 35.

Confessional #23425250: I let friend requests from former high school mean girls sit unanswered on my Facebook. No, you can’t spy on my fabulous life. Enjoy your mediocrity; you earned it.

If you’re still harboring bitterness and seeking revenge on that tormentor from your youth, we understand. Letting go of that resentment can be challenging.

Confessional #25801897: My teenage daughter’s friends abandoned her because we’ve restricted her socializing due to COVID. It breaks my heart and makes me angry at those mean girls.

Confessional #25768431: My 10-year-old daughter had a friend who now treats her poorly. I wish I could confront that little brat. My daughter wonders what she did wrong, but she did nothing—some girls are just mean.

Confessional #23715066: Watching my 8-year-old daughter cry over mean girls brings tears to my eyes. I remember that desire to fit in. It still affects me because mean girls evolve into mean women. We must teach our kids the importance of kindness and inclusivity!

Confessional #23959025: A little mean girl was cruel to my 9-year-old daughter today. I’m trying to teach her resilience and the value of true friendship, but I just want to slap the brat who hurt my child.

The ultimate heartbreak occurs when mean girls target our children. We know they must learn to navigate these situations independently, just as we did, but every instinct urges us to protect them.

Confessional #23959025: I’m struggling as a mother. My daughters are nothing like I raised them to be; they resemble the stereotypical mean girls from movies. They can’t stand each other, and I feel helpless.

Confessional #25751684: Today, I found out my daughter isn’t just a mean girl but a bully. Where did I go wrong? My heart is shattered, and I truly believed I raised her better.

Confessional #25470050: Today, I discovered my 11-year-old daughter has been acting like a mean girl at camp. Everyone says “not my kid!” but I never thought she’d behave this way. I feel so disappointed and sickened.

We can’t assume our children won’t engage in mean behavior. Even with the best intentions, our daughters can get swept up in mean girl culture. We must discuss bullying with them, understand their friendships, observe their interactions, and ensure they embrace kindness and inclusivity.

The unfortunate reality is that mean girls will persist. They grow up, remain mean, and raise another generation of intolerable mean girls. It’s our duty to ensure our kids are not part of that cycle. We must empower them to stand up against bullying and support others.

As parents, it’s vital to combat mean girl culture. Every child deserves a better experience.

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In summary, mean girls are a pervasive issue that continues into adulthood. It’s crucial for parents to actively raise kind, inclusive children and to talk openly about bullying. By recognizing the signs and instilling values of empathy and support, we can break the cycle and foster a more compassionate future for our kids.


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