The Argument That “If You Can’t Afford Children, Don’t Have Them” Overlooks Key Issues

It’s surprising how often the claim arises that people who can’t financially support children simply shouldn’t have them. This viewpoint typically surfaces during conversations about universal childcare, extended parental leave, or the rising costs of childbirth. Those who express this sentiment often adopt an individualistic mindset, promoting the idea that everyone should solely rely on themselves. The notion of expecting any societal support for families is, to them, unacceptable.

However, this argument is fundamentally flawed in several significant ways.

Financial Situations Are Not Static

It’s hard to believe we need to state this, but people’s financial circumstances can and do change. Those advocating for the idea that individuals shouldn’t have children if they lack the means seem oblivious to the reality that someone’s financial status can improve over time through hard work and opportunity. Conversely, individuals who may begin with financial stability can experience sudden setbacks due to unexpected life events that deplete their savings. What, then, do they expect parents of older children facing financial difficulties to do? Abandon their children because they can no longer afford them? Or is the expectation that individuals should somehow foresee their future circumstances?

Interestingly, many who argue against having children if you can’t afford them are often also anti-choice. They’ll insist that if you find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy, you should bear that child, while simultaneously advocating against the decision to have children based on financial constraints. Suggestions like “just put it up for adoption” trivialize the emotional and physical toll of pregnancy and relinquishing a child.

Rising Costs of Childbirth

The financial burden of childbirth has dramatically increased. From my own experience, the costs associated with giving birth have skyrocketed. Fifteen years ago, my son’s birth required only about $75 out of pocket, while my daughter’s birth four years later cost over a thousand dollars due to changes in insurance coverage. This represents a staggering increase of over 1,000%. The costs associated with childbirth in the U.S. are among the highest globally, and unfortunately, this doesn’t translate to quality care. The U.S. has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the developed world, with thousands suffering severe complications during childbirth.

Increasing Expenses of Raising Children

Beyond just the costs associated with childbirth, raising children has become increasingly expensive. Childcare costs have surged, with expenses for basic services like after-school care rising by as much as 58% from 2013 to 2019—far outpacing typical inflation rates. Meanwhile, wages have stagnated, leaving many families struggling to keep up with rising living costs.

Choosing Not to Have Kids Due to Financial Strain

Recent census data indicates a significant decline in birth rates, the most dramatic drop since 1930. Many individuals are opting to delay parenthood, have fewer children, or forgo it altogether. The financial realities faced by young adults today, including skyrocketing housing costs, lead them to conclude that they simply can’t afford to raise children. Even those firmly established in their careers often find the costs of raising children daunting.

Instead of admonishing people to simply avoid parenthood if they’re not financially stable, we should be exploring the more pressing question: why is it increasingly unaffordable to raise children in the U.S., and what steps can we take to address this issue? For more insights, check out this post on our blog.

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In summary, the argument that people should not have children if they can’t afford them overlooks the complexity of financial situations, the escalating costs associated with childbirth and child-rearing, and the reality that many are opting out of parenthood due to these pressures. We should be advocating for better solutions rather than placing the burden of affordability solely on individuals.