The Overuse of the Term ‘Ally’: It’s Time for Genuine Support

It’s often easier to join in when everyone else is doing something. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as peer pressure or safety in numbers, can be seen in various trends, from the latest fitness routines to popular TV shows. If you find joy and success in these new ventures, great! But if things don’t pan out, you can console yourself knowing that you weren’t alone in the experience. This herd mentality also appears in the way many individuals claim allyship during Pride Month. It’s simple to call yourself an ally when it feels like everyone else is doing it, yet many who make that claim don’t truly embody what it means to support the LGBTQIA+ community.

Jumping on the rainbow bandwagon in June often comes off as performative. People and businesses pat themselves on the back for publicly supporting the queer community, believing they’re doing the right thing or avoiding accusations of homophobia. However, that isn’t true allyship; it’s merely centering oneself in a community that they may not fully understand. The LGBTQIA+ community needs support year-round, not just during Pride Month.

While the visibility of allyship seems to spike in June—evident in the rainbow filters on social media profiles and posts from Pride parades—too many people claim to be allies without the actions to back it up. Often, this title is assumed after witnessing discrimination or anti-queer events in the news, but if that allyship doesn’t translate into consistent action, those words ring hollow.

It’s commendable to show acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community, but being an ally is more than just knowing a queer person or having friends who identify as LGBTQIA+. It involves advocating for equal rights and protections, which goes beyond simply donning rainbow merchandise in June. Additionally, purchasing from companies that support anti-LGBTQ legislation undermines genuine allyship. Recognizing the difference between uplifting LGBTQIA+ individuals and inadvertently supporting those who oppose them is crucial.

True allyship requires work and starts with educating oneself on issues impacting the LGBTQIA+ community. Are there laws in your state limiting the rights of queer people? Does your local school district offer an inclusive curriculum that recognizes queer history? Are your colleagues protected from discrimination? What steps are you taking to ensure safe spaces for your queer friends and family? Are you involved in policy change? When declaring yourself an ally, are you also dismantling other oppressive systems like racism, sexism, ableism, and xenophobia? Recognizing that queer individuals encompass diverse identities is essential for genuine support.

Not everyone may be able or willing to engage in this work, but activism is just one form of allyship. For those who can’t participate directly, consider financially supporting organizations or individuals actively working for change. You can find numerous campaigns on platforms like GoFundMe that aim to assist queer individuals and groups. On social media, the hashtag #TransCrowdFund can connect you with those in need of support for affirming care and other essentials.

If financial assistance isn’t an option, consider sacrificing your comfort by speaking out for LGBTQIA+ individuals whenever possible—even if it means confronting friends or family. True allyship is loud and messy; it demonstrates your commitment to standing up for queer people when it’s uncomfortable. We need to know we can count on you beyond just a month of celebration.

Allyship isn’t a self-bestowed label; it’s something that must be earned through action and acknowledgment from the community. Simply accepting LGBTQIA+ individuals doesn’t equate to fighting for their rights or creating safe environments for them.

Evaluate when and how you choose to show your support. When you identify as an ally, what meaningful actions have you taken to uphold that title? Are you opting for what’s easy or what’s necessary? Don’t just tell me you’re an ally; show me.

For more insights on creating supportive environments, check out our post on home insemination and learn how to truly make a difference.