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The other day, while I was changing, my daughter, Lily, walked in. This is a daily occurrence, but this time she had questions. “Why does your belly look like that? It’s round and has marks on it. Do they hurt?” Initially, I felt a twinge of disappointment that she had noticed my differences. I hoped to avoid this conversation for a little longer. I explained that my body has changed because I’m a mom and have had children. But her curiosity didn’t end there; she wanted to know more about my stretch marks. So, we talked about how bellies expand because babies grow inside them, and that stretch marks are completely normal, even for those who haven’t given birth.
Then, she surprised me with her next statement: “I hope my belly looks like that someday. I want to have babies too.” Here I was, often wishing to look different, and she admires my body just as it is. She doesn’t see the flaws I focus on; to her, I’m simply her mother, someone she adores and aspires to be like.
Children perceive the world through a lens of innocence. They don’t categorize friendships by race, skin color, or sexuality; they simply see their friends. Concepts like religion, politics, and hot-button issues are foreign to them. They talk about the things that bring them joy and make others smile. A child doesn’t judge bodies as thin or fat; they love the person behind those bodies. As a parent, I carry the responsibility of instilling values in my children. They will model my behavior. It’s crucial for me to demonstrate the importance of treating ourselves and others with dignity and respect.
Admittedly, I can’t say I love my stretch marks. I’m not particularly fond of my dimples or skin flaps either, and I certainly don’t relish the fine lines and wrinkles that have come with time. I often find myself mourning the youthful body I once had. Yet, the changes in my body are a testament to something incredibly beautiful.
Creating a life within our bodies is nothing short of miraculous. But how often do we take a moment to appreciate our bodies? I know I don’t do it nearly enough. Those bellies we criticize for being too jiggly or stretched out are the very places where our babies developed and grew, preparing to enter this world. Our legs have supported us through exhaustion, our arms have cradled our little ones, and our hands have wiped away dirt and tears. We’ve run our fingers through messy hair and traced the faces of sleeping children. We need to remind ourselves to be grateful for all these experiences.
Appreciating ourselves and recognizing everything our bodies have accomplished should be simple, yet it’s often easier to criticize than to celebrate. But we are remarkable. Our bodies have made us mothers and provided everything we needed to nurture life. While we may not look as we did before having children, we mustn’t diminish the value of our bodies and all they have done for us.
Lily is still so young, with her entire life ahead of her. One day, she may wish to become a mother herself. Her baby doll, Bella, is her most treasured possession; she feeds, dresses, and cuddles it at night, caring for it as a mother would. I hope that when the time is right, she experiences the profound love that comes with motherhood. I want her to be grateful for her body, to love herself as she is, and not to yearn for a different physique. For that to happen, I must lead by example.
I want her to know that I do appreciate my body for the miracles it has brought into my life. I am grateful for the hips that widened to carry my children and for the breasts that nourished them. My stretch marks serve as sweet reminders of my pregnancies and the joy I felt during those times. The fine lines on my face are not just from worry but from the countless smiles motherhood has given me. My body has served me well; while it may not be perfect, it has done its job beautifully.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother shares her experience of her daughter’s innocent admiration of her body, prompting a deeper conversation about self-acceptance and the beauty of motherhood. The mother realizes the importance of setting a positive example for her child, showcasing gratitude for the changes her body has undergone to nurture life.
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