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When it comes to parenting a child with special needs, there are aspects of our experiences that many people struggle to grasp.
First and foremost, we often don’t share the whole truth. It’s not that we don’t trust you or that you’ve done anything wrong; it’s simply that we’re aware you may not fully understand the depths of our reality. And that’s perfectly okay. We don’t expect you to.
For instance, when we say, “I’m tired,” we mean a level of exhaustion that words can barely convey. It’s a profound fatigue that stretches beyond the physical—it’s emotional, mental, and spiritual. The notion of self-care seems almost laughable to us. Not because we don’t appreciate your own self-care routines, but because it can take us days to relax enough to breathe properly, let alone recharge.
Our children, regardless of their challenges, are our greatest treasures. We love them fiercely, not just because we want to, but because we have to advocate for their needs. This includes fighting for their accommodations, medications, appointments, and basic rights. While we might share some of this advocacy with you, the struggles we face at home—the moments when the rest of the world seems carefree—are often left unsaid.
These experiences can be chaotic, frightening, and sometimes even shameful. They shouldn’t be, but the truth is, few truly understand. It’s rare to find someone who is constantly “on,” aware that even a moment of respite could lead to danger for their child.
Whether it’s a risk of falling, impulsive behaviors, or emotional outbursts, our vigilance never waivers. When our children aren’t with us, we live in a state of paralyzing fear, anticipating when they may need us. It’s a kind of exhaustion that we don’t openly discuss because we don’t expect you to fully get it.
Yet, even if you can’t comprehend our day-to-day struggles, your kindness can make a world of difference. You could lend an ear without judgment, offer to watch our kids so we can take a moment for ourselves, or even send a supportive text.
This life might not be what we envisioned, nor would we wish it on anyone else. But we wouldn’t trade it for anything. Despite the pain and challenges of extreme parenting, we are not failing. Our children, in all their complexities, need us. And despite the hurtful things they may say in moments of distress, they will always return to us because we are their anchor.
We are in this together, navigating the ups and downs of this journey.
For more insights on the topic of home insemination, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re seeking more information on fertility, Make a Mom offers some great resources. Additionally, NHS is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
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In summary, parenting a child with special needs involves unique challenges that often go unspoken. While the exhaustion and fears can be overwhelming, the love we have for our children is unmatched. Your support and understanding can make a significant impact on our journey.
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