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As soon as the fall semester kicks off, I find myself eagerly awaiting summer break. Parenting school-aged children is a challenging journey, especially when you have kids with special needs on an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP). Both of my children are on IEPs, and this leads to a particularly exhausting school year. By the time May arrives, I’m completely drained—this is not your typical burnout; it feels like burnout amplified.
For those unfamiliar, an IEP is a tailored educational plan that outlines the specialized instructions, supports, and services a child needs to navigate school successfully. It’s akin to a contract with the educational institution, but one that constantly evolves.
Every year, summer school is presented as an option, and every year, I decline. This decision isn’t easy, and guilt often creeps in. By the time summer rolls around, my kids and I are both worn out. Summer is our precious time to unwind as a family, free from school meetings, rigid schedules, and the anxiety of falling behind. We need this time to breathe, recharge, and simply enjoy being together.
This year, more than ever, I’ve felt the weight of the school year. I recently reached a point where I desperately needed a break. However, as a parent of a child on an IEP, taking a break feels impossible. The moment you let your guard down, things can quickly spiral. Anyone who walks this path understands that there are no real breaks during the school year—this year has been no exception.
Celebrating the little victories throughout the school year becomes essential. These small achievements often provide a much-needed boost amid the overwhelming challenges. We focus on these victories to maintain a sense of balance and to counteract the negativity that can easily accumulate.
When I converse with parents of children who don’t face learning differences, it becomes clear that our “normal” is quite different. The education system is primarily designed for the conventional learner, and it’s easy to feel out of place when your child doesn’t fit that mold. This realization can be disheartening.
If I’m not worrying about my children’s difficulties, I’m consumed with questions about whether I’m doing enough or what steps I should take next. Thankfully, we have a fantastic and engaged IEP team for both of our kids, which has made a world of difference. Yet, even with solid support, it’s tremendously exhausting. Daily life serves as a constant reminder that we often feel like square pegs in round holes—navigating meetings, therapy sessions, and behavior plans that highlight our differences.
When we embarked on the IEP journey nearly eight years ago with our oldest, I never anticipated that we’d still be going through this process. I used to hear stories of parents who disengaged from their children’s special education journeys, and I couldn’t fathom how that could happen. Now, I completely understand. You reach a breaking point where you want to throw your hands in the air and say, “It is what it is.” The temptation to give up is strong, but I refuse to succumb to it. Instead, I will persevere. That’s what parents do. I’ll cry in my car, stay up late researching options, and ensure my kids receive everything they need. I’ll probably second-guess myself along the way, but I will keep pushing forward until that glorious moment when summer break arrives. In that moment, I will finally relax, take a deep breath, and maybe even indulge in a glass of wine to toast our freedom.
So, in short, no—my kids will not be attending summer school.
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In summary, I’ve decided against summer school for my children, valuing our family time and the opportunity to recharge after a demanding school year. The journey of parenting children with special needs is filled with unique challenges, but prioritizing rest and family is essential for our well-being.
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