Why We Gave Up on the Ideal Yard

In the peak of summer, I find myself assuring my three boys that watermelon seeds won’t lead to them having watermelon babies. As I lounge in a hammock dreaming of cooler climates, they’re busy diving for giant coins in our gloriously redneck above-ground pool, wearing nothing but their underwear. Bathing suits? Who knows where they’ve tossed them this time—perhaps buried in the yard or hidden under a towel in the guest bathroom. While I swat at mosquitoes and layer myself in Deet, I find myself yelling for the umpteenth time not to splash their youngest sibling. After dragging themselves out of the pool, they run around the yard, still clad in their underwear.

And it’s not truly summer unless our yard is a chaotic mess.

We might endure scorching temperatures in July, but the yard becomes our children’s playground. With a trampoline, pool, and a swingset/climbing wall/monkey bar setup, they should be entertained outside instead of glued to screens. However, they often prefer to create their own adventures—by transforming our yard into a disaster zone.

We Gave Up on Grass Because of Holes

When we eventually sell our home, we’ll likely need to invest heavily in new turf. Between our three dogs and three kids, every inch of grass has vanished from the dirt and jungle that is our backyard. Trees line the edges and serve as fort-building materials, secret hideouts, and even toad habitats. We’ve abandoned the idea of growing plants in pots since my partner’s Shepherd-Terrier-Raccoon mix loves to nibble, knock over, or dig them up. So, we’re left with a lot of dirt.

And let’s be honest, the dirt here is incredibly sandy. Sand is super easy to dig up, and our energetic Shepherd-Terrier-Raccoon thrives on being close to the kids. My hefty German Shepherd, who feels the need to protect our little ones from everything, doesn’t fare well in the intense summer heat, leading to one inevitable solution:

Dogs dig massive holes.

While my smaller dog can only manage so much, my German Shepherd digs with wild enthusiasm. My kids can actually sit in the holes he creates, which scatter our yard like craters on an alien landscape. And let’s not forget the additional holes my kids excavate to create their “lake.” This involves serious backyard excavation and then cranking the hose to fill it up as quickly as the sand can absorb water. Spoiler: it absorbs quickly, meaning the hose has to remain on. They happily splash around in their mudpit, often fully clothed, while the German Shepherd looks on, unimpressed and ready to dig another hole.

Our Yard Is a Minefield of Stuff

Creating a lake requires tools. You’ll need multiple shovels because if you only have one, someone will hog it until you’re both screaming for another. A hose is essential, and of course, there are the inevitable dinosaurs my seven-year-old insists on bringing to the scene. All of these items end up scattered across the yard because who has the energy to clean up when it’s sweltering outside?

The pool generates its own chaos. I watch them jump in, swim, and then inevitably forget towels. Whether they run inside naked or leave their towels on the ground, there’s always a trail of swimsuits and towels marking their exit. Confiscated pool toys, squirt guns, and deflated tubes frequently litter the area. Our yard is indeed a disaster.

It Means Summer, Right?

All this clutter signifies one thing: we’re outside. That empty bourbon bottle next to my hammock? It’s a remnant from a Zoom call with friends the night before, which also accounts for the tangled cords scattered about. The pile of floats beside the pool shows that their dad and I occasionally join them for some relaxation, sometimes even after they’ve gone to bed.

Our yard may look like a wreck, but it’s a hub of activity during the summer months. Our kids aren’t glued to screens; we’re outside watching them swim, and the dogs are there to keep an eye on things too. Everyone is happy. If you feel inclined to come over and tidy up in this sweltering heat, you’re more than welcome. But our kids are thriving on their little patch of dirt and play equipment, and honestly, that’s what matters most. Our yard, despite its mess, saved our sanity during 2020.

We love our yard, chaos and all. After all, who needs grass?

For more on navigating family life and parenting tips, check out this blog post about home insemination. If you’re interested in essential products, visit Make A Mom for their top-notch kits. Also, for those seeking additional resources, this link is an excellent guide for pregnancy and home insemination.

Search Queries:

Summary:

This article reflects on the chaotic yet joyful summer experiences of a family that embraces the messiness of life over maintaining a pristine yard. With three children and three dogs, the backyard transforms into a playground filled with holes, dirt, and laughter, proving that happiness often overshadows appearances.