First Period Guide: Supporting Your Child Through This Significant Milestone

Big Conversations: Preparing for Their First Period

Your essential resource for navigating this key moment, filled with expert insights.

by Alex Morgan
Updated: June 6, 2022
Originally Published: June 23, 2021

You likely recall the day you got your first period, a moment that may have been life-altering (for better or worse—hello, cramps and period stains!). Yet, as your tween or teen approaches their first period, it can feel like all that knowledge has vanished. It’s a different ball game when you’re guiding someone else through the emotional and sometimes messy journey of menstruation.

To start, let’s clarify what menstruation is, commonly known as a period. Each month, as the menstrual cycle kicks off, estrogen levels rise, causing the uterus lining to thicken in preparation for a potential pregnancy. If no fertilized egg is present, this lining sheds, leading to menstrual blood being expelled from the vagina, which consists of both blood and tissue. Menstruation signals that a person is nearing the end of puberty and is biologically capable of reproduction. However, being “capable” doesn’t equate to being emotionally, mentally, or financially prepared for pregnancy, making conversations about these topics crucial.

We’re here to guide you through menstruation and everything associated with it. Whether you choose to read this alone, with your child, or simply send them the link for independent reading, remember that periods are completely normal and should not be a source of fear or shame. The more you and your child comprehend the transformations occurring in their body, the more comfortable they’ll feel discussing it.

They’re still your baby (albeit a bigger one now), so it’s natural to want to assist them in navigating their first period.

What’s the term for a first period?

Yes, first periods are known by a specific term: menarche! Pronounced men-ar-kee, this term derives from the Greek word “menos,” meaning “month,” and “arkhē,” meaning “beginning.”

What are the signs of a first period?

Some tweens or teens may not notice any signs leading up to their first period, while others might experience premenstrual syndrome (PMS) for several days beforehand. Are PMS symptoms unpleasant? Absolutely. But the good news is that they’re temporary. Symptoms can include bloating, breast tenderness, acne, back pain, constipation, diarrhea, fatigue, mood swings, food cravings, or clear or white vaginal discharge. Just the fun stuff!

When do tweens/teens typically get their first period?

The timing of a first period varies widely, but most individuals begin menstruating between the ages of 12 and 13. Dr. Jamie R. Smith, OB-GYN at a local health center, notes that this usually occurs approximately two to two and a half years after the initial signs of puberty. These signs often include breast development for about 85% of females, while 15% may notice the emergence of pubic hair. A period is deemed “abnormally early” if it occurs before age eight and “abnormally late” if it hasn’t started by age 16.

Why did my child get their period so early?

Every child develops at their own pace, and there is no set timeline for when a young person should start their period. Factors such as weight and physical activity can influence hormonal changes that trigger menstruation. Some children may begin their periods as early as nine, while others may start between 11 and 14 years old, or even earlier due to precocious puberty.

How long does a first period last?

This varies from person to person; a first period may last just a couple of days. Initially, periods can be quite light, often presenting as slight spotting of reddish-brown blood. It may take time for hormone levels to stabilize and for periods to become regular. Once they do, the typical duration ranges from four to seven days or longer. Dr. Smith mentions that many of the initial periods may not involve ovulation, which means prolonged bleeding can occur.

How soon after developing pubic hair does a first period occur?

As everyone’s body is unique, timelines can differ. Generally, pubic hair growth and the onset of menstruation happen in close succession. This hair typically appears shortly after breast development begins, with the first period often following within a year or two.

What constitutes a normal period for a teenager?

An average menstrual cycle is about 28 days; however, it’s perfectly normal for cycles to range from 21 to 45 days. Most periods last less than seven days. Dr. Smith reassures that “almost everything regarding a teen’s early menstruation can be considered ‘normal.’ Some teens experience heavy periods, while others have light ones, and some may have only one or two periods yearly in the beginning.”

Experiencing a period can be uncomfortable and even painful due to cramps and other symptoms, which is completely normal. However, if your tween or teen is bedridden due to severe cramps (and not just avoiding chores), it might indicate a more serious issue. It’s wise to consult a healthcare professional.

Is it normal for a tween or teen to have a light period?

Having an exceptionally light period (or one that barely exists) after several cycles can be typical for your child, since each body is different. However, it could also point to a health concern. Athletes or individuals with a lower weight may experience a cessation of periods, which could lead to future complications. Symptoms like excessive acne or facial hair might suggest a common hormonal disorder called polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). If your child reports significant changes in the heaviness of their periods, it’s advisable to arrange an OB-GYN appointment.

How can I support my teenager during their first period?

A first period marks a vital milestone in your child’s life, but it can also be accompanied by discomfort. Here are some ways to ease their experience:

Use a heating pad on their abdomen or back; a warm towel can suffice.
Offer a lower-back massage.
Provide over-the-counter pain relief, such as naproxen or acetaminophen.
Suggest a warm bath to help relax their muscles.

Can pregnancy occur once menstruation starts?

If your tween or teen inquires about this, reassure them that yes, it’s entirely possible to become pregnant after starting their period. Surprisingly, pregnancy could occur even before their first period, as ovulation can happen beforehand—though this is rare. Engaging in sexual activity during ovulation could lead to pregnancy, making it crucial to discuss safe practices. The only foolproof way to prevent pregnancy (and sexually transmitted diseases) is abstinence. If they are sexually active, effective birth control methods include condoms and hormonal options like the pill or IUD.

If you’re a teen reading this and suspect you might be pregnant, it’s essential to talk to a parent, trusted adult, or healthcare provider. Exercise caution and perform thorough research before visiting a pregnancy crisis center, as some may not provide accurate or unbiased guidance. Remember, help is available, and there are supportive individuals out there.

This article was originally published on June 23, 2021.

Summary

This guide provides crucial information to help parents navigate their child’s first period, a significant milestone. It covers menstruation’s definition, symptoms, timing, and how to support teens through their experience. Understanding the changes in their body can help ease fears and promote open conversations about menstruation and reproductive health.