This Isn’t a Luxury Yacht, and I’m Not Your Activities Coordinator

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“I’m so bored.” “There’s nothing to do.” “We don’t have any snacks.” “I hate just sitting here.” I hear these complaints constantly. For some reason, my kids think they’re living on a high-end cruise ship and I’m the one responsible for all the entertainment. Maybe I should print out my job description so we can go over it together. Sure, there are details about keeping them clothed, fed, and safe. I definitely remember the part about loving, protecting, and educating them. But I don’t recall any mention of putting on tap shoes every day at 11 a.m. for a show. They really need to get real.

Don’t get me wrong, my children aren’t spoiled; they just crave a more action-packed life than I can offer. They thrive at school because there’s always something happening. Home isn’t the same. I don’t ring a bell every 45 minutes and shuffle them along to a new activity. I guess I could set a timer and change things up if that would spice it up for them. Heck, I’d even throw in a bag of microwave popcorn and a soda to make it feel like a real treat.

I love my children dearly. They’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and my final thought before I fall asleep. I want their childhoods to be filled with wonder and happiness. But honestly! I can’t create memorable experiences every single day. Some afternoons, they’ll just have to endure the ordinary, lazy days of summer.

Perhaps the issue lies in my tendency to exaggerate mundane tasks. When I say, “I’m going to the grocery store. It’s been two weeks; this is going to feel like winning the lottery!” it sounds far more thrilling than just picking up milk and eggs. If they expect a prize at the end like we’re on a game show, they’re bound to be disappointed when we have to bag our own groceries at Aldi. It’s a classic case of perception versus reality.

Why can’t a trip to the store be satisfying in its own right? Why must a fun day include terms like admission, tickets, and snack stands? If there’s no line to complain about, is it even worth doing? Apparently not. For a day to be considered enjoyable, it seems it has to start with an armband and end with instructions to meet back at the statue for lunch. It’s not fun unless there’s a cool refillable cup for $10.99.

But this summer, things are going to change. My kids need to become more independent. We live in a spacious 2,500-square-foot home filled with opportunities for adventure; they just have to discover them on their own. There’s plenty to do; they may just need to get a bit creative.

Dear kids: Here are five things you can do before telling me (once again) that you’re bored.

1. Grab a Toy
   Head down to the basement and choose one of the hundreds of toys you begged for. You know, the ones I keep threatening to sell at a garage sale because they gather dust? There’s a treasure trove of items waiting for your imagination.
2. Find a Sibling
   With a house full of children, you’ve got built-in friends. Pair off and play together. Grab a game, watch a movie, or just be kind to each other.
3. Clean Something
   There are dry-erase boards throughout the house with chores listed for you. Since you have to do them anyway, why not cross a few off the list? It’s much easier if I’m not yelling at you to get it done.
4. Make Yourself a Snack
   You know how to prepare simple meals. If you’re hungry, go to the pantry and whip something up. You don’t need me to cook everything for you. Find a sibling and make something together, just remember to clean up afterwards.
5. Watch TV
   I’m not limiting screen time this summer. If you want to watch TV or play video games because you’re bored, go ahead — just don’t spend all day glued to the screen. Mix it up a bit.

If that doesn’t work, I can certainly suggest plenty of other activities to stave off boredom. This might be the summer I finally say goodbye to all your baby clothes. I bet they’d enjoy a ride with me on that emotional rollercoaster. Or, perhaps someone would like to help me reorganize my closet by color, size, and sleeve type? Anyone interested in a game of “empty the china cabinet” or “clean all the goblets”? If none of that sounds appealing, we could always have a 3 p.m. viewing of my high school musical highlights.

And just like that, they’ll scatter like cockroaches in the light. I’ll finally have the couch to myself as I relive my golden years in “Jesus Christ Superstar.” They’ll never know what they missed!

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Summarizing:

The article humorously explores the challenges of keeping children entertained during summer, emphasizing the importance of independence and creativity. It offers practical suggestions for kids to engage themselves and highlights the author’s love for her children while acknowledging the limits of her role as a parent.