I Don’t Care What My Partner Thinks About My Body

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I’ve had my hair in a messy bun for as long as I can remember. I love the way it looks, but honestly, there’s nothing better than coming home, taking off my bra, and tying my hair up. A few months into my new relationship, I discovered that my boyfriend wasn’t a fan of messy buns. He didn’t say it outright, but while watching a show, I mentioned that I thought the main character looked better with her hair up and no makeup. He agreed about the makeup but casually mentioned that he wasn’t really into buns. That didn’t change a thing for me, and he sees me with my messy bun all the time. I didn’t even ask if he liked it on me—because while I cherish him, I genuinely don’t care. I like it, and that’s what matters.

I also get Botox and fillers. I started this after we began dating, and it makes me incredibly happy. He’s said things like, “Why do you do that? You don’t need to; you’re beautiful,” which is sweet, but honestly, my boyfriend could use a pair of glasses because his vision isn’t the best. He squints at his phone and often forgets his readers, leaving me to read the menu for him.

The point is, it’s my body and my choice. If there’s something I want to do, I will do it, regardless of his opinion. He knows this and doesn’t comment when I wear my hair up or when he sees the bruising from my injections that help me feel like a better version of myself.

I’ve heard friends share stories about partners who argue over their appearances or clothing choices. Some husbands refuse to speak to their wives after they’ve had lip fillers, claiming they’ve “ruined themselves,” while others pressure their partners into major surgeries because they want them to look a certain way. A former boyfriend of my sister insisted she dress a particular way and even to grow out her armpit hair, which she didn’t want to do but did for him.

One of my friends in New York City says some men schedule all sorts of procedures for their wives after childbirth. No.

Being in a relationship doesn’t strip away your autonomy. I’ve never understood women who keep long hair just because their partners prefer it. I distinctly remember my father telling my mother to keep her long hair while they were married. The moment they divorced, she cut it. I recall him using the same reasoning with me when I wanted a short haircut in junior high. I literally wasn’t allowed to have the hairstyle I desired. That fueled a fire in me, and I couldn’t wait to grow up and do whatever I wanted with my body.

We are all individuals. We should wear what we want, color our hair how we like, and toss the razors if that’s our choice. If you ask me, a partner who micromanages your dietary choices, exercises, or schedules a major surgery for you needs to be shown the door. The problem lies with them, not you.

We know what feels right and good for us. If you want to change something about how you look or live, that’s fantastic—but it should only be to please yourself. I don’t tell my boyfriend what to wear. He doesn’t work out like I do, and he has a belly he’s self-conscious about, which I think is adorable. He’s not a fan of beards or scruff, which I find attractive. But I have no desire to change him or strip away what makes him unique.

If you’re with someone who tries to control your appearance or outfits, it’s time to reconsider that relationship. Being with someone like that is draining; you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells, and you’re not being true to your own style. There are people out there who will love you for who you truly are, and we need you to embrace that. Wear what you want, eat what you want, and groom yourself as you see fit. Just ensure that you remain authentic to yourself instead of conforming to someone else’s misguided standards. Because no matter how hard you try, people like that will never be satisfied—and you’re better off without them.

For more insights, check out this related blog post on pregnancy and family planning here and learn from experts on home insemination here. If you’re interested in understanding the IVF process better, this resource is excellent here.

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In summary, it’s crucial to prioritize your own preferences and autonomy when it comes to your body, regardless of your partner’s opinions. Each person deserves the freedom to express themselves without fear of judgment or control.


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