40+ Bank Jokes and Puns That Will Make Any Banknote Chuckle

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Comedy icons like Joan Rivers, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Seinfeld, and Chris Rock discovered long ago that the secret to great humor lies in finding laughter in the ordinary aspects of life. Mundane tasks like visiting the dentist, filing taxes, or watching your plumber (with their infamous plumber’s crack) provide endless comedic material. We all can relate — that’s what makes it funny!

Another of those rather dull experiences is going to the bank. Between the lengthy lines, outdated technology, and pens that are perpetually out of ink, it can be quite the ordeal. That’s why bank jokes and puns are so delightful and silly. While accountant jokes and money puns can be amusing, nothing quite compares to a clever loanshark quip. With that in mind, we’ve compiled some of the cheesiest, most amusing bank jokes even your teller would find amusing.

1. Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
2. What did the football coach say when he visited the bank? “I want my quarterback!”
3. Why did the teller get fired? An elderly lady asked him to check her balance, so he tipped her over!
4. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? He didn’t have the guts.
5. If you have no interest in banking, you are not a loan.
6. Why was the woodchopper arrested? He walked into a bank, pointed a stick at the ceiling, and shouted, “This is a stickup!”
7. If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
8. When does it rain money? When there’s a “change” in the weather.
9. What did the comedian say upon entering a bank? “This is a stand-up.”
10. A naked man robbed a bank; no one could recall his face.
11. A basketball player and a horse jockey just robbed a bank. Police are searching high and low for the suspects.
12. Why did the bank owner buy cows? To beef up security!
13. What do you call a man with a head full of change? Headquarters.
14. Where do fish store their money? In the riverbank.
15. People who rob jewelry stores and banks are bad, but those who rob bakeries really take the cake.
16. What did the recluse tell the bank teller when he needed money? “Leave me a loan.”
17. Why are Irish bankers so good? Because their capital’s always Dublin!
18. Why is a river wealthy? Because it has two banks.
19. Why do goalkeepers have so much money? They’re great at saving!
20. My dad always said to work until my bank account looks like a phone number, so I did. Account balance: $9.11.
21. I once had an account with a bank at the North Pole; they froze all my assets.
22. What did the nut say when it held up the bank? “Give me all the cashew have!”
23. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark!
24. Why did the old man bring raisins to the bank? He wanted to set up a current account.
25. If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
26. A criminal robbed a bank in a suit made of mirrors, but turned himself in after taking time to reflect. The judge was lenient, as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
27. My uncle always said he had a fortune in a safe deposit box. He left me the key in his will. I went to the bank, trembling with anticipation, opened the box, and found an envelope that said: “Good things are ahead for you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10, and 13.”
28. Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer? She wanted cold, hard cash!
29. I quit my job at the bank today. I guess you could say I lost interest.
30. The bank must really like me; they keep telling me my loan is outstanding!
31. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank? To check his balance!
32. Did you hear about the gold digger? They love leisurely romantic strolls over to the Bank of America.
33. Chuck Norris doesn’t maintain a bank account; he just tells the bank how much money he needs!
34. What did the bank teller say to the customer? “Bank you very much!”
35. What’s the hardest part of being hooked on banking? The withdrawals!
36. What did the tree do when the bank closed? Started its own branch!
37. Always borrow money from a pessimist; they won’t expect it back.
38. Why did the banker die? He cashed out!
39. Sign above the teller’s station: “To err is human, to forgive is not bank policy.”
40. What do fish use for currency? Sand dollars!
41. I visited the bank to apply for a personal loan, but when they found out I wanted to be a rapper, they didn’t want to Post Malone.
42. What do you call a boy named John with a lot of money? Johnny Cash!

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In summary, these bank jokes and puns showcase the humor we can find in everyday banking experiences. Whether you’re waiting in line or just thinking about money, a good laugh can lighten the mood and make the experience a little more enjoyable.