Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders
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The first time I experienced a binge was unforgettable, despite it happening three decades ago. After battling anorexia for over a year, I had restricted myself to just 1,200 calories a day, meticulously counting every one while engaging in an hour and a half of exercise. My body was suffering: I lost my menstrual cycle, my hair began to thin, and I struggled to stay awake during class.
What began as an attempt to shed a few pounds during puberty spiraled into an obsession with being thin. Living on rice and vegetables left me perpetually hungry, and thoughts of food consumed my mind. I dreamt of indulging in my favorite meals and immersed myself in food magazines, fantasizing about eating freely. My desperation led me to take sleeping pills in secret, just to escape the gnawing hunger.
One fateful night after a basketball game, I found my father’s freshly made blueberry jelly on the counter. I convinced myself that a small piece of bread with jelly couldn’t hurt. But something shifted within me that night; I felt detached from my body as I devoured an entire loaf of bread and two jars of jelly. The shame that followed was overwhelming, and I promised myself to fast the next day, only to find myself binging again after dinner.
This cycle of binge eating and self-loathing persisted for years, often when I was alone in the dark kitchen. I was aware of what I was doing and felt powerless to stop it. Back in the early ’90s, I had no understanding of binge eating disorder (BED). I tried to purge but never succeeded.
Binge eating, or compulsive eating, involves consuming large quantities of food in a short time frame while feeling a loss of control. This differs from simply indulging in cravings or eating excessively during stressful times. According to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK), if binge eating occurs regularly—at least once a week for three months—it may indicate BED. The aftermath is often filled with regret and a sense of shame, but breaking the cycle can be challenging.
Unlike bulimia, those with BED do not engage in purging behaviors. It is the most prevalent eating disorder in the U.S., affecting about 3.5% of adult women and 2% of men. Interestingly, the disorder is most commonly seen in middle-aged men, particularly between the ages of 45 to 59.
Recently, 20-year-old activist Alex Thompson bravely discussed her struggles with binge eating on Instagram. She revealed, “I suffer from binge-eating disorder. My appetite has increased due to medication, leading to a weight gain of almost 100 lbs in less than two years. It’s time I hold myself accountable for my weight gain.” Her openness is commendable and reflects a growing dialogue that can help others feel less isolated in their struggles.
While binge eating can occur in individuals of average weight, it is more frequently observed in those who are obese. However, most individuals with obesity do not have BED. The dangers of binge eating are significant; according to the National Eating Disorders Association, it can pose life-threatening risks. Those who binge often avoid eating in public, frequently diet, display signs of depression, and are self-critical, leading to drastic weight fluctuations.
Those close to someone with BED often notice rapid disappearance of food. In my own experience, I would binge at night while my parents slept, eventually resorting to buying my own food to hide my behavior.
Binge eating is an addiction that I didn’t fully comprehend until I sought therapy. It was a difficult transition to stop, as I had grown accustomed to my solitary moments with food. Nonetheless, recovery is achievable—I haven’t binged in 25 years.
If you or someone you know might be struggling with binge eating disorder, consult a healthcare professional who can direct you to a mental health expert. Treatment often involves therapy to reshape eating habits and address underlying psychological issues contributing to binge eating. Therapy helped me identify my triggers, leading me to discard my scale and avoid prolonged periods of fasting, which were detrimental to my recovery.
The National Eating Disorder Association provides invaluable resources for those grappling with BED, whether it’s for oneself or a loved one. Remember, help and support are available, and you don’t have to face this battle alone. For more insights on related topics, check out our post on home insemination kits, which may also benefit you.
Summary
This article highlights the personal journey of overcoming binge eating disorder, emphasizing the importance of understanding and addressing this common yet often stigmatized condition. It encourages seeking help and provides resources for recovery, underscoring that individuals don’t have to navigate their struggles alone.
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