Don’t Be Shellfish! Share These 50+ Crab Puns and Jokes with Your Friends!

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Picture this: you’re hanging out with friends or at work, trying to lighten the mood around the water cooler. Everyone needs a few clever one-liners to spark laughter and break the ice from time to time. While you can always turn to general humor, there’s something particularly delightful about crab puns and jokes.

Crabs are not only adorable but also delicious if you enjoy seafood! Plus, their humor is simply a blast. It’s safe to say that when you’re in need of a good laugh, crab puns are always there to save the day.

Did you know that a group of crabs is called a cast? Or that they have been around since the Jurassic Period, more than 200 million years ago?! Crabs inhabit more diverse environments than any other sea creature, from volcanic vents to Antarctic ice. Interestingly, while many crab species have shorter lifespans, the Japanese spider crab might live for over 100 years! And let’s not forget the fun of crab coloring pages.

So, let’s dive into a shell-ectable collection of hilarious crab puns and jokes. And if you’re hungry for more ocean-themed humor, don’t miss our shark jokes, whale jokes, and fish jokes!

Best Crab Puns and Crab Jokes

  • What do you call the greatest crab artist? Leonardo da Pinci.
  • What’s a crab’s favorite fruit? The crab apple, of course!
  • What’s it called when a crab walks to its job? A side hustle.
  • How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink? It starts to walk in a straight line.
  • Why did the crab keep all the seaweed to itself? Because it was shellfish!
  • How did the limpet cross the river? She took a taxi crab.
  • Customer: “Waiter, do you make crab cakes?” Waiter: “Yes, we do.” Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”
  • Why was the crustacean unhappy? His mom was being really crabby.
  • Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym? He pulled a mussel.
  • Why did the crab blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom.
  • How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food? Just a pinch!
  • What do you call a crab in self-isolation? A hermit crab.
  • Where do crabs sleep? On the sea bed.
  • What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship? “Ay, ay, Crabtain!”
  • What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
  • What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza? A crust station.
  • Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide.
  • Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs? Santa Claws.
  • What did one hipster crab say to the other? “Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!”
  • Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains? King’s Crustacean.
  • How does a crab feel after eating too much? Clawful!
  • Where do crabs save their money? In a sand bank.
  • What would a crab do with an iPhone? Take lots of shellfies!
  • How do crabs get around on land? They use the sidewalk.
  • What protective headgear does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met.
  • What party game do crabs like? Salmon Says.
  • How does a crab answer the phone? “Shello!”
  • What do crabs do on their birthday? They shellabrate!
  • Why did the musical crab move to NYC? It wanted to star in the crabaret.
  • What do crabs order at coffee shops? A crab-uccino.
  • How do crabs call their friends? On a shell phone.
  • What do you call a crab that’s afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic.
  • Where do crabs go to borrow money? A prawn broker.
  • Why don’t crabs like basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
  • What do crabs need to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
  • What’s a crab’s favorite pizza part? That crust taste, son!
  • Did you hear the crab president’s speech? It was crabtivating.
  • Which element is most abundant in crabs? Crabon.
  • Why do crabs do poorly in school? They have a limited vocabulery.
  • What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday? Crab cake.
  • How did the crabs react when the chef said they were dinner? They were really steamed.
  • What do you call a green crab that sings but stays home? A Kermit crab.
  • Where do crabs go for public transport? The Bustacean.
  • What does the crab president call his advisors? His Crabinet.
  • What did the crab cop say to a speeding shrimp? “You must abide by the claw.”
  • Why did the crab follow the Keto diet? Crabohydrates made it bloat.
  • What did one fish say to another when they saw a crab? “Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”
  • What do you call a frugal crab? A penny pincher.
  • What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”
  • Why did the crab get fired? Because he wasn’t moving the company forward.
  • Why did the ocean roar? Wouldn’t you if crabs were underneath you?

For more laughs and to learn about home insemination, be sure to check out our other blog post here. You can also explore resources on pregnancy and fertility at CDC, which is an excellent place to gather information.

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In summary, crabs are not only fascinating creatures but also a source of endless humor. From their quirky characteristics to their amusing antics, crab puns and jokes offer a delightful way to share laughs with friends. Whether you’re looking for a quick joke to brighten someone’s day or diving deeper into the world of home insemination, there’s something for everyone to enjoy!


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