Why I Chose Not to Breastfeed My Third Child

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The subject of breastfeeding often appears straightforward and instinctual, yet many mothers find it to be anything but that. It can be a profoundly beautiful experience, but it also presents numerous challenges that vary widely for each individual. One piece of advice that resonated with me came from my friend and nutritionist, Jenna Moore. After giving birth to my third child, Leo, I found myself overwhelmed with the thought of having to breastfeed again, especially with my two other young children waiting for us at home.

Initially, I breastfed Leo during our hospital stay because it felt like the only option available. However, I wasn’t dreading the sleepless nights that come with parenthood; rather, I was haunted by the painful memories of cracked nipples and the struggle to achieve a proper latch. The thought of mastitis and the anxiety of not having enough milk weighed heavily on me. It didn’t help that I was frequently asked by hospital staff if I was “exclusively breastfeeding,” as if there was only one acceptable option to choose from.

Compounding my worries were thoughts of my energetic toddlers at home and my husband, who had recently suffered a severe ankle injury. Additionally, I was facing a unique situation: I would need to stop breastfeeding after just one month to prepare for my upcoming breast implant removal surgery. This realization made me question whether enduring the pain of breastfeeding was worth it for such a short time frame.

Reflecting back on my experience with my second child, Noah, I remembered the difficulty I had in maintaining breastfeeding with him. After struggling for three months, I transitioned to pumping, which was exhausting and left little room for quality time with my children. Even though I knew formula could be a viable option, I wrestled with feelings of guilt surrounding the decision to stop breastfeeding.

The societal pressure surrounding breastfeeding can be overwhelming, and it’s all too easy to feel ashamed for choosing formula. I quickly discovered that there is significantly less support for formula feeding compared to breastfeeding, which was disheartening. Despite the encouragement from friends and family, I felt as though I was justifying my decision to hospital staff, who seemed to view formula feeding as an abnormal choice.

When I finally reached out to Jenna, she offered me the reassurance I desperately needed: “A happy mom is a happy baby.” This phrase liberated me from the guilt I had been feeling and allowed me to prioritize my well-being. Shortly thereafter, I ordered formula to be delivered home from Amazon, setting my mind at ease.

I was fortunate to have a supportive network behind me, including my husband, who advocated for my choice and understood the challenges I faced. His willingness to participate in feeding Leo helped strengthen their bond, which was a silver lining amidst the chaos of new parenthood.

I share my story in hopes that others who are facing similar feelings of shame or judgment can find solace in knowing they’re not alone. It’s essential to advocate for your own needs and make choices that are right for you and your family. Remember, as Jenna said, a happy mom or dad creates a happy baby. Prioritizing your own well-being is an act of love for your entire family.

For more insights on similar experiences, you can check out another one of our blog posts here. Additionally, if you’re looking for authoritative information on pregnancy and home insemination, I highly recommend visiting CDC’s resource.



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