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We all know this past year has been quite the challenge—not just for us, but for my Facebook friends too. With kids facing a truncated school year, the usual flood of academic achievements and trophy photos vanished, leaving our feeds devoid of those proud, toothy grins. And selfies? Who would dare post a filtered photo during a time when everyone was sporting questionable pandemic haircuts and let their eyebrows go full-on Eugene Levy? Gone were the Aruba bikini shots; instead, we were settled into our recliners, embracing our natural selves while dreaming of safer days for travel.
My Facebook feed, much like yours, turned into a collection of memes featuring unfamiliar pets. It seemed like the era of the “humble brag” had come to an end. Then, out of the blue, everyone started proclaiming their reading accomplishments during the lockdown. Suddenly, I was inundated with posts about Sarah finishing her 45,361st book while you were just behind at 45,359. As for me, I knew I wasn’t going to win any literary race—my most complex reading involved glancing at the back of a lime-flavored Oikos yogurt and revisiting “Hyperbole and a Half” for the umpteenth time. But while I may not have excelled in reading, I absolutely crushed it in reality TV.
So, go ahead and flaunt your literary achievements; I’ll be here proudly sharing my obsession with “Married at First Sight” (affectionately called MAFS by fans). Margaret Minnicks, writing for Reelrundown.com, describes MAFS as a Lifetime series where couples are expertly matched and meet for the first time at the altar. Despite being a reality show, it’s often referred to as a social experiment. Couples meet, marry, honeymoon, and then spend eight weeks together before deciding whether to stay together or part ways.
I’ve binge-watched all 12 seasons over the last few months, with each season containing roughly 25 episodes that typically run around 60-90 minutes. So, if you do the math—12 x 25 x 75—that’s about 22,500 minutes, or approximately 15.625 days of my life dedicated to my MAFS reality star friends. And I did this in a fraction of the time it took you to post about the books you’ve read—let’s be honest, I didn’t embellish my stats.
While you were cozied up with “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” I was riveted by Jamie Otis (season 1) crumpling in the chapel’s hallway after marrying the quirky Doug Hehner in his shiny white shoes. I witnessed their honeymoon, where Doug’s charming nature and impressive abs helped ease Jamie’s post-wedding jitters. (And yes, I consider myself the honorary godmother of their three children.)
During the time you were skimming through the initial chapters of “All the Light You Cannot See,” I was forming a bond with Ashley Petta and Anthony D’Amico from season 5. I even felt like I was part of their wedding! (I apologize for mentioning that, but it’s important context.) These two were smitten from the start, the biggest issue being Ashley’s last name and a parking space. I kept waiting for some drama to unfold, but it never came.
While you were trying to immerse yourself in Toni Morrison’s work, I was diving into MAFS seasons 3, 8, 6, 9, 12, and 7 (one of the perks of this show is the ability to watch seasons out of order). I laughed when Beth Bice (season 9) hilariously roasted her husband Jamie Thompson about their intimate life. Despite the name-calling and sulking, they eventually chose to stick together on Decision Day, probably riding off into the sunset where they continue their antics.
Amidst the beautiful weddings and fleeting sparks, MAFS also showcases some truly cringeworthy moments. Neil Bowlus (season 3) dressed in a ridiculous red onesie, only to be mocked by his bride Sam Role, while Chris Williams in season 12 made a shocking comment about his new wife’s “face.” I felt like hiding under the bed during those moments. Molly Duff (season 6) aggressively berated Jon Francetic, and in season 8, Luke Cuccurullo told Kate Sisk he felt “repulsed” by her kiss. I can only imagine the chaos if those two were ever matched.
Sure, I could have picked up a novel or a memoir, but I chose to watch with the intensity of someone who should have had a giant bucket of popcorn in hand. At some point, I even began fast-forwarding through the sappy moments just to get to the juicy drama.
On some level, I realize MAFS feeds my guilty pleasure for schadenfreude—but let’s be real, you can’t get the same quick thrill from a book. Initially, I thought of myself as a mere viewer of a social experiment, but I’ve come to accept that I’m more of a voyeur, peeping through the cracks to catch glimpses of the chaos. Ultimately, in the realm of reality TV, I stand as the undefeated champion.
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In summary, while many sought solace in books during the pandemic, I found my escape in the dramatic world of “Married at First Sight.” The series provided a mix of humor, heartache, and pure entertainment that kept me glued to the screen.
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