My Daughter Is About to Enter Her Tween Years, and I'm Feeling Mixed Emotions

The countdown has begun. My eldest child is just a day away from turning 9, and I’m experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. She’s reminded me more times than I can count that this birthday signifies more than just another year; she’s becoming a tween. “Mom, I’m not a little kid anymore!” she insists. Trust me, sweetheart, I’m well aware.

Just last week, she rode off on her scooter to a friend’s house, completely independent. No drop-off, no hugs for reassurance—just her, a sense of adventure, and the freedom to explore. It was a short distance, less than half a mile, so I wasn’t overly worried. Still, watching her embrace this independence stirs something inside me. Isn’t this a good thing? It’s all part of growing up, right? I should be proud of her kindness, politeness, and the joy she finds in her friendships. So, why do I feel this twinge of sadness?

I remember when people said that childhood passes in the blink of an eye. I dismissed them, thinking they were exaggerating. But now, as I reflect on those sleepless nights, I find myself longing for them again. Yes, I know it sounds crazy! Who would willingly trade full nights of sleep, uninterrupted showers, and peaceful dinners?

I would. I’d exchange those peaceful nights for less anxiety about whether I’m doing this parenting thing right. I’d give up some quiet time for a few more hugs and moments of being her favorite over screen time. Dining out, where she’s suddenly more interested in the world around her than sharing her day, just isn’t the same. She’s captivated by a boy in her class—let’s call him Max—and suddenly, sharing about her day takes a back seat.

I recall my first crush too, the awkwardness of wanting to share but fearing my mom would overreact. I can’t help but want to make a fuss about Max, but I know better than to do that. I overheard her chatting with a friend about her “boyfriend,” and I had to stifle a laugh. At this age, boyfriends are just people to chat with on the phone or play games like Roblox, right?

But then come the tougher discussions. Like why she wasn’t invited to a party, or why her friends have phones but I don’t think she needs one just yet. The thought of her feeling pressured to change her body to fit in terrifies me. Sorry, kid—you’re stuck with my genes! I’ve noticed her trying on clothes that are snugger than what she’s used to, and it’s a reminder that these years can be challenging.

Yet, I find solace in her need for her pink teddy bear at bedtime and the two songs she insists on before sleep. Sometimes, I’ll admit, it drives me a little nuts when she asks for a second tuck-in, but those moments are precious to me.

So many emotions swirl around as we enter this new chapter. If I could do it over, I’d change a million little things, but ultimately, this journey is yours to navigate. My role is to love you unconditionally and let you make mistakes while guiding you to leave your unique mark on the world. However, as you step into this exciting new age, I want you to remember a few things:

First, your sister looks up to you.

She may drive you crazy by imitating everything you do, but it’s because she admires you. I hope you both cultivate a beautiful relationship as you grow older, just like I have with your Aunt.

Second, never stop learning.

You have a curiosity and passion for knowledge that is inspiring. The day I took you to get your first library card filled me with pride. It’s a step towards independence, but I’ll always be here to help when you need it—let’s be real, you’ll probably misplace it a few times!

I could share countless pieces of advice as you embark on this new journey, but the most important is to always be true to yourself. You are perfect just the way you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Yes, I have a million feelings, but I am incredibly proud of the tween you are becoming. Buckle up; this is going to be a wild ride for both of us, but I promise to be there every step of the way.

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In summary, as my daughter approaches her tween years, I’m filled with a blend of pride, nostalgia, and a touch of sadness. This transition marks a significant change, not just for her but for me as a parent. While I know it’s a natural part of growing up, I can’t help but reminisce about the simpler times. As she steps into this new phase, my hope is to support and guide her while celebrating her unique journey into adolescence.