PANDAS Left My Young Daughter with Severe Anxiety

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It was 25 minutes past her bedtime when I heard the familiar sound of tiny footsteps in the hallway, followed by a soft voice calling out, “Mom.” This was the third time this week my daughter had difficulty falling asleep, and when I asked her what was troubling her, she simply replied, “I don’t know. I just feel worried.” I lay down beside her, gently stroking her hair and kissing her forehead, trying to calm her tears. As a parent, there’s nothing more heart-wrenching than watching your child suffer while feeling helpless to ease their pain.

I’ve learned to cope with my anxiety as an adult, but I never addressed those feelings when I was her age. That’s why I now rely on therapy and medication to manage my daily life. While I fully support using these tools, I hope to guide my daughter toward alternative strategies to handle her anxiety.

Our journey to help her navigate her worries began when she came to me in distress, convinced she had wet herself. At seven years old, this incident was compounded by feelings of shame on top of her anxiety. We checked, and thankfully, there was no accident, yet she insisted she felt wet.

We experimented with various underwear styles, made sure she limited her drinks before bedtime, and encouraged her to use the bathroom before settling down. Despite our efforts, she still found herself in tears, and no amount of soothing could comfort her. I did the one thing every parent is advised against—I turned to Google. By the end of the week, I was just as sleepless as she was, prompting me to schedule a visit with her pediatrician.

After a thorough examination and some tough questions I wasn’t prepared for, we ruled out any signs of trauma or abuse. Her doctor inquired about her emotional state, and she opened up about her struggles with sleep and persistent worries. That’s when I learned about PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders), a condition I had never heard of before. The symptoms matched perfectly, so we began treatment immediately. Luckily, she started feeling like herself again within a few days. While treating her physical health was straightforward with antibiotics and steroids, the real challenge lay in addressing the compulsive and anxiety-driven behaviors that had initially raised concerns.

Initially, I felt like a failure as a parent. What had I done wrong? Was there something I could have done differently to prevent her from struggling like I did? After all, I live with anxiety and depression—was this my fault? Did she inherit this from me?

While some studies indicate that mental illnesses can be genetic, a child’s environment plays a significant role too. Keeping an open dialogue about mental health in our home has been essential for supporting her. I’ve allowed her to see me take my medication, even when it’s difficult for me to admit that I’m not invincible. Just as I’ve had to accept my own imperfections, I want her to navigate her feelings too.

Since my daughter’s anxiety appeared suddenly without any prior indications, we opted not to pursue medication for her. Will this always be our approach? Who knows. For now, she has embraced several other techniques to help her manage anxiety instead of being overwhelmed by it. We worked with her school counselor to create glitter jars, worry stones, and encouraged her to express her feelings through writing.

Glitter jars provide a focal point for calming her racing mind. When she shakes them, watching the glitter settle offers her a moment to breathe and let her feelings settle along with the glitter. Worry stones are compact and discreet, perfect for situations that require more subtlety. We used bakeable clay to make palm-sized stones; she crafted hers into a spiral that she can trace with her fingers whenever she feels anxious.

Sometimes, kids just need quiet time to themselves. If she’s not in the mood to talk, I suggest journaling or using a worry workbook. She chose a journal she loved and personalized it; it’s her safe space to express herself without fear of judgment or prying eyes. As challenging as it is to give her this privacy, it’s crucial for her to work through her feelings independently. You’d be amazed at how resilient children can be when given the opportunity.

Equipping my daughter with these tools, coupled with patience and understanding, has significantly improved her well-being. Growing up, my anxious feelings were often dismissed as mere sensitivity. The CDC reports that about 4.4 million children suffer from anxiety, and that’s just the diagnosed cases.

Since we began using these strategies and fostering open conversations about mental health, those little footsteps in the hallway have become less frequent. My daughter knows she can approach me anytime with her worries. While I don’t have all the answers when it comes to parenting an anxious child, I want her experience to be different from mine. What I do know is that living with an anxious child is manageable, and you are not alone in this journey.

For more insights, check out one of our other blog posts here. Also, if you’re looking for additional information on this topic, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Another excellent resource is News Medical for insights into pregnancy and home insemination.

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Summary

This article discusses the author’s struggles with her daughter’s sudden onset of anxiety linked to PANDAS. It explores the emotional toll of parenting an anxious child and the various strategies employed to manage her feelings, including glitter jars, worry stones, and journaling. The author emphasizes the importance of open dialogue about mental health and the resilience of children when given the right support.


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