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When my kids were younger, our bedtime routine was all about cozying up with a book after brushing teeth and putting on pajamas. Sometimes, we’d even fit in a bath and sing a few songs. Fast forward to now, with my children at 15 and 11, and our evenings are quite different. Instead of storytime, I find myself hollering from my bed for them to brush their teeth while I finish an article. Then comes the new normal: my tween and teen join me in bed, we put my laptop aside, and dive into… TikTok.
Yes, TikTok.
Like many folks from Generation X, I was hesitant to join TikTok. The videos I saw on my other social media feeds were filled with teens dancing in ways that seemed likely to injure me if I tried. Yet, friends kept insisting that TikTok had something for everyone, so I finally gave in after discovering “Lesbian TikTok” while scrolling through Twitter.
Once I downloaded the app, the algorithm quickly aligned with my interests. I’m passionate about equality, history, music, writing, and social issues. I enjoy exploring human interactions and defining identities, and I have a penchant for cute dog videos. If you peek at my TikTok feed, you’d see all this reflected.
Before long, my kids began watching over my shoulder. Drawn in by catchy tunes and informative snippets from various experts, they started to engage with my curated TikTok experience. They would nod along or question the content, sparking discussions that led us to explore complex topics together. For example, videos on positive masculinity helped my son understand women’s issues better. Initially resistant to the idea that women might be wary of “all men,” he later grasped that it’s about safety and caution, leading to meaningful conversations.
My daughter has benefited too. Body positivity videos reinforce that she doesn’t need to conform to anyone’s expectations regarding her appearance. TikTok has also opened the door to discussions about the histories and current issues facing various communities, including indigenous peoples, Black individuals, and the LGBTQ+ community.
There are moments when we come across parenting advice videos that prompt my kids to reflect on my methods. For instance, one video suggested allowing tweens to express anger without consequences. I explained that while feelings are valid, it’s essential for her to learn respectful communication, which she understood.
Amidst the serious topics, there’s plenty of lighthearted content too, like adorable pets and talented performers.
Ultimately, TikTok has created opportunities for conversations I might have otherwise overlooked. Watching videos together enhances our connection and provides topics to discuss and care about. When my kids are with their dad, I send them TikToks through a group chat, maintaining our bond even when we’re apart. Now, as part of our bedtime routine, my daughter and I watch TikTok together each night, while my son joins us a bit later. It’s become a blend of entertainment and education, thanks to a social media app I once deemed too young for me.
What an incredible time to be alive!
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Summary:
In an unexpected twist, TikTok has become a valuable parenting tool for me. What started as a reluctant exploration of the app has evolved into a nightly bonding experience with my children, where we watch videos that spark meaningful discussions about social issues, body positivity, and respectful communication. Through this platform, I can keep the lines of communication open and engage with my kids in a way that enhances our relationship.
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