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I began my modeling career at the age of 17, never imagining it would lead me down such a challenging path. When the opportunity arose, I thought it would be a good way to earn money to escape my life in Poland.
My first visit to a modeling agency was eye-opening and unsettling. I had to strip down to my underwear in front of strangers, who critiqued my appearance and pointed out all the things they deemed “wrong” with me. It was labeled a standard evaluation, but I felt more like an object than a person. Unsurprisingly, I was told to lose weight, with comments like “If you aren’t a walking skeleton, you’re too fat.”
Despite common misconceptions, modeling is not as glamorous as it seems. While posing does require some skill, the real challenge lies in the industry’s unrealistic expectations and toxic culture. Behind the scenes, there are countless pressures that most people aren’t aware of.
By the time I signed with an agency, I was already underweight, and the beauty standards of the 2010s were particularly harsh. The pressure to maintain a certain weight was even part of my contract, and I found myself losing more weight until I reached around 100 pounds at 5’8”. Despite being underweight, I was often labeled a “bigger” girl during castings, facing criticism about my body from industry professionals.
During long photoshoots, which could stretch for 12 to 14 hours, the only food available was minimal—a small salad or a piece of fruit. Some girls survived on just an apple or two a day.
Navigating the modeling world was fraught with challenges, including uncomfortable castings and harsh feedback. While I was fortunate to have consistent work as a commercial model, the unpredictability of the industry loomed large. Many aspiring models struggled to find steady jobs, and some even resorted to dangerous alternatives to make ends meet.
In addition to the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards, models often faced inappropriate behavior, including groping and unwanted advances. I experienced my share of unsettling encounters, which stemmed from the perception that models are simply objects of beauty rather than human beings.
After retiring from modeling at 23, I began to regain my health and weight. Yet, the years of negative comments about my appearance left a lasting impact. While modeling provided financial benefits and helped me pursue my dreams of studying abroad, I ultimately regret my time in the industry. I believe there were healthier and more fulfilling ways to achieve my aspirations.
The modeling industry continues to prey on vulnerable young individuals, often minors, who may not fully understand the implications of their choices. Although there is a growing movement towards body positivity, many fashion brands still prioritize thinness over diversity.
We need to have honest conversations about the toxic nature of the fashion industry and its effects on young women. The treatment of models as disposable objects is not acceptable, and it’s vital we address these issues moving forward.
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In summary, my experience as a teen model was fraught with challenges, unrealistic expectations, and a toxic culture that often disregarded the well-being of young women. While it provided financial benefits, the emotional toll was significant, and I would not choose to go through it again.
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