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I began my modeling journey at the age of 17, never imagining that I would enter this world. However, when the chance arose, I decided to pursue it, drawn in by the promise of a lucrative income that would help me leave my home country of Poland.
My first experience at a modeling agency was shocking; I was asked to strip down to my underwear in front of strangers who proceeded to critique my appearance, pointing out all the perceived flaws. They labeled this as a standard evaluation, but it left me feeling objectified.
As expected, I was told I needed to lose weight. The harsh reality of the modeling industry is that if you don’t resemble a walking skeleton, you’re considered overweight.
Contrary to common belief, modeling is far from an easy job. While posing may require some skill, the real challenge lies in the industry’s unrealistic standards and the often grim reality behind the scenes. When I first signed with an agency, I was already underweight, but the beauty ideals of the 2010s were particularly ruthless.
My contract even stipulated that I maintain a specific weight, and I eventually did lose more, hitting a low of about 100 pounds at 5’8″. Despite being significantly underweight, I was still frequently categorized as a “larger” model during castings, often receiving comments about my body shape.
Many of my fellow models survived on minimal food—often just an apple or two a day—while enduring long hours during photoshoots. The meager meals provided were typically limited to a small salad or a piece of fruit, with the rare slice of unadorned pizza.
Though I managed to secure a steady stream of work, primarily in commercial modeling—which felt like a safer option than high fashion or lingerie—it was evident that the industry was unpredictable. For every successful model, countless others struggled to find opportunities, leading some to make desperate choices, even turning to prostitution as a means to survive.
While I was fortunate to have a relatively steady income, I witnessed many of my peers resorting to risky behaviors just to make ends meet. The environment was rife with exploitation, and the agency I worked with neither encouraged nor condemned these practices, leaving a murky moral landscape.
The darker aspects of modeling included not only the pressure to maintain unrealistic physical standards but also the disturbing reality that many models faced harassment, groping, or even assault. At some shoots, drugs were offered casually. This behavior stemmed from the perception that models were mere objects, devoid of humanity—glorified clothes hangers rather than individuals with aspirations.
Despite the status that comes with being a model, I often felt treated worse by men; they seemed to admire the idea of me rather than recognizing me as a person. The stereotype that models are unintelligent also persisted, yet many, like myself, had dreams beyond the runway.
After retiring from modeling at 23, I began to regain weight and finally reached a healthier state. However, the negative comments from my past still linger, impacting my self-image. Reflecting on my experiences, I realize that while modeling provided financial benefits and helped me achieve my dreams of studying abroad, I wouldn’t choose that path again. There were certainly better ways to reach my goals.
My resentment towards the industry continues, especially regarding how it exploits vulnerable young girls, often minors, who are unaware of the potential dangers. The system perpetuates eating disorders and neglects models’ mental health needs. Although discussions around body positivity have increased, the demand for ultra-thin models remains, and many mainstream brands still prioritize skeletal figures over diverse shapes.
We need to address the toxic nature of the fashion and modeling industry, which often sacrifices the well-being of young women in pursuit of beauty. It is crucial to bring awareness to this issue.
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In summary, my experiences as a teen model shaped my views on the industry’s harsh realities and the exploitation of young women. Despite the financial benefits, the emotional toll and the unhealthy environment were not worth it.
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